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A religous one

by Anonymous Monk
on Jan 09, 2004 at 14:54 UTC ( #320134=poem: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

open YOUR_HEART ">to_Jesus" or die;

Comment on A religous one
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(Unformatted Duplicate) Re: A religous one
by NodeReaper (Curate) on Jan 09, 2004 at 15:06 UTC

    Reason: woolfy Double...

    For more information on this node visit: this

Re: A religous one
by Anonymous Monk on Jan 09, 2004 at 15:09 UTC
    Jesus()
        require RISE::FROM::DEATH
        push $knife;
        goto YOUR_HEART;
        die bleeding;

    YOUR_HEART()
        exit;
      Evil()
          eval my $grin;
      I like the short one (open YOUR_HEART ...). Some thoughts; not intended to offend; intended to contemplate.

      Hardly possible without 'require'

      "And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; (...); they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well." (Mark 16, 17)

      Seen on TV ?

      "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God - having a form of godliness but denying its power." (2 Timothy 3, 1:4)

      Get connected

      "For I know the plans I have for You," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper You and not to harm You, plans to give You hope and a future." (Jeremia 29, 11)
A religous response
by dragonchild (Archbishop) on Jan 09, 2004 at 15:59 UTC
    $neighbor->body_part('eye')->remove('mote') unless $self->body_part('eye')->has('beam');

    ------

    $goddess->isa('live'); $magic->isa('foot');
Re: A religous one
by PodMaster (Abbot) on Jan 10, 2004 at 08:20 UTC
    unlink 'Jesus'; do { sleep 1 } until rand == 1;

    MJD says "you can't just make shit up and expect the computer to know what you mean, retardo!"
    I run a Win32 PPM repository for perl 5.6.x and 5.8.x -- I take requests (README).
    ** The third rule of perl club is a statement of fact: pod is sexy.

Re: A religous one
by Jenda (Abbot) on Jan 11, 2004 at 18:43 UTC

    That was a fanatical, not a religious one. I thought we are past this. Unlike the Allah preaching folk :-(

    P.S.: I'm not a sheep so I'd rather die.

    P.P.S.: The "to_" is superfluous there. <code>open YOUR_HEART "> Jesus" ..." would be enough.

    Jenda
    Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
       -- Rick Osborne

    Edit by castaway: Closed small tag in signature

      Unlike the Allah preaching folk :-(

      There are over 1.4 billion (with a 'B') Muslims in the world today, according to Muslim Demographics. The VAST majority of them, just like the vast majority of the 1.9 Billion Christians (according to InfoPlease), are law-abiding, peaceful, tolerant people. Unfortunately, we only hear and see the more radical elements, cause those are the vocal ones. Just cause they shout loudest doesn't mean they are the true representatives of a given group.

      ------
      We are the carpenters and bricklayers of the Information Age.

      Please remember that I'm crufty and crochety. All opinions are purely mine and all code is untested, unless otherwise specified.

        This all sounds nice, yet the fact is ... the level of fanatism is much higher in the muslim world. No surprise if the priests keep inducing fire. If a christian priest ever tried to speak as bad about muslims as the muslim ones do every day about christians and jews, he'd end up in jail. My English is not fit for political discussion and I feel I can't express myself as clearly as I would like to, anyway the fact that most of the terrorism you hear of is islamic, that there is virtualy no single place where there is no turmoil anywhere where muslims mix with anyone else (be it christians, hindus, jews or others), surely does mean something.

        We do handle (or at least try to) our fanatics. You can't say the same thing about them. (The "We" in the previous sentence doesn't mean christians, since that would not include me. It means the western civilization.)

        P.S.: We even did not make fun of them as much as of anyone else. (Some guesses why :-}

        Jenda
        Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
           -- Rick Osborne

        Edit by castaway: Closed small tag in signature

Re: A religous one
by boo_radley (Parson) on Jan 14, 2004 at 17:15 UTC
    I really don't see why this merited so many down votes. It's moderately clever, and it'll compile to boot.
      I really don't see why this merited so many down votes. It's moderately clever, and it'll compile to boot.

      Because, even if you're a believer, it would be better written as open YOUR_HEART ">to_Jesus" since both believers and non-believers die - it's just the former get to go to a nice place if they've been good.

      Because I don't like being told that I should die if I don't believe something. I don't tend to respond well to threats - and that's what it read like to me.

        "Because, even if you're a believer, it would be better written as open YOUR_HEART ">to_Jesus" since both believers and non-believers die - it's just the former get to go to a nice place if they've been good."

        Yes, open YOUR_HEART ">to_Jesus" or goto HELL; would've been better :)

        --
        b10m
        since both believers and non-believers die
        'death' has several dimensions, besides just dying physicaly, e.g.:
        • dying emotionaly
        • dying socialy
        • dying economicaly
        open YOUR_HEART ">Jesus" or die "emotionaly" || "socialy" || "economic +aly";
        Jesus changed my life before I died physically (obviously). It started with changing my heart; this made me more sensitive to the world around me; my social isolation decreased; I was poor as a youngster, earn well today and survived a recent lay-off wave.

        Many of these events were out of my control.

        The opposite of 'death' is 'life'. I became alive and a source of life for other people - through Jesus Christ. That's his message for everybody, e.g. to You. Knowing the difference, I don't want to return to my former way of living, which kept me more dead than alive.

        Jesus is a gentle one; so I'm not imposing anything upon you. But I thought you should know, at least. Sorry for sounding fanatic. I'll try learning from this feedback.

Re: A religous one
by b10m (Vicar) on Jan 14, 2004 at 18:19 UTC

    What about:

    use Insanity::Mass:Hysteria; $mass_hysteria = Insanity::Mass::Hysteria->new(); $mass_hysteria->create(); while($age < 33) { $mass_hysteria->increase(); } die("on cross"); sleep 259200; $mass_hysteria->increase()

    I have no idea how old Jesus was, but a source told me he reached 33. And yes, it doesn't make sense to put any code after a 'die', but then again, IMHO, so doesn't the whole story ;)

    Updated: a lil ...

    --
    b10m

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