Choosing to identify with your actions (or your code) solidifies you as an object in a sea of objects, not an actor with moment-by-moment choices. Thus, an attack on your actions (or your code) is seen as an eternal blot on the object that you've now become. It is because you've confused a process with an object. This is why I keep saying "you are not your code, you are not your actions". I'm trying to reinforce the ability to take criticism as against a moment in time, not an eternal blot. I've found in general that choosing to identify with something that is actually a process leads to collectively more stagnant and limiting outcomes over time.

This is completely separate with the declaration that you are responsible for your actions (or code). This means that you welcome feedback, because you want to know how to adjust future behaviors based on past outcomes. And you can instead choose not to be responsible for your actions (or code), and that will lead to a different set of outcomes. I've found in life that choosing to be responsible generally leads to better and more flexible outcomes later.

There is nothing right or wrong about identity. There is nothing right or wrong about responsibility. But confusing one for the other, or not knowing the results of empowering one or the other, leads to outcomes that may not be desired.

I don't want people to "feel bad" (identity) about being a fool (a momentary process). I want people to make adjustments in their actions (responsibility) so as to not repeat the damaging actions in the future.

There. I hope that helps.