So far, four solutions have been offered:
1. Patch the kernel
2. Educate the customers
3. Modify the customer scripts
4. Symlink /usr/bin/perl\r -> /usr/bin/perl etc.
The first three are undesirable or impossible for a variety of reasons, as stated by various monks. In the absence of a better alternative, the symlink solution, while indeed 'terribly amusing', gets my vote - it's actually quite clever.
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