Did I say STDERR? Sorry I meant STDOUT.
No need to be sorry. You said STDOUT – rather clearly and several times at that, I see, now that I re-read your orignal post. I'm just a goofball and somehow read it as STDERR. Each and every time. (Note to self: The correct order is: espresso first, post second.)
Thank you for being gracious about my error and not pointing out how big of a dope I am. Luckily, I didn't hardcode STDERR into my example code, and so I don't look like a complete idiot.
Anyway, I'm glad that everything worked out, despite mine eyes having deceived me. :)