But it's still not a haiku (at least to my limited understanding) because it's not about a seasonal event, and his original form, I feel, reads much more poetically. What is with this obsession of things that look similar to haikus? Is it just that they appear easy to create and everyone wants to be a poet?
The basic form of ha-i ku is an "amusing sentence" that follows the three-line, 5-7-5 form. Note, it must be a sentence, not several. There are more constraints, depending on school of thought and whom you ask. Popular constraints:
Must have to do with nature
Must have to do with a season
If using the above constraints, you must introduce that element in the first line of the poem.
Anima Legato .oO all things connect through the motion of the mind