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Re^3: I laughed, I cried, I...

by wolfger (Deacon)
on Jan 31, 2007 at 13:17 UTC ( #597533=note: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to Re^2: I laughed, I cried, I...
in thread I laughed, I cried, I...

Sorry, but that doesn't scan any better. It's one syllable over instead of one syllable under.

I laughed, I cried, I then replied.
Much better. :-)


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Re^4: I laughed, I cried, I...
by Eliana (Scribe) on Feb 01, 2007 at 02:44 UTC
    Well... your version is a perfect iambic tetrameter, but I think the anapest at the end of 'and then I replied' gives a sense of playfulness and fits better with the rhythm of the words, yours is more...formal, don't you think?

    But, yes, yours is technically superior - and I should have checked the scansion of my doggeral before critiquing someone else's! But, I must confess, I scan (and write) more by instinct and how something sounds to me... it has been interesting to see when that tendency is as asset (or not!) as I learn to code.

    After more than 14 years of marriage to Yitzchak (ysth), I can finally do more than turn a computer on and off and use Microsoft Word! I've been amazed at how much artistry and beauty there can be in code... I had never thought of programming as potentially poetical.

    Anyway, thank you for playing with me. :)

    Eliana

      "Formal" is in the mind of the reader... While it's the job of a good writer to covey his or her meaning to the reader, there's really no foolproof way of doing so, and that is especially true in the internet age, where things you write are being read around the world, by a host of different cultures. To my mind, your version (using proper modern grammar) was the more formal, while my version (using a more archaic manner of speech... "I then" is so rarely used anymore) sounded more playful to my ear.

      As for "iambic tetrameter" and so forth, I stand in awe of your linguistic prowess. I can see why Perl appeals to you, being a programming language designed by a linguist. Thanks for sharing your story of "MS Word user to poetical programmer" :-)

        >"Formal" is in the mind of the reader...

        Mmm, so true.

        >To my mind, your version (using proper modern grammar) was the more formal, while my version (using a more archaic >manner of speech... "I then" is so rarely used anymore) sounded more playful to my ear.

        Ah, but to my ear, corrupted no doubt by my misspent youth, your usage sounds perfectly normal... but then I only started reading modern poetry and literature for pleasure within the last five years and the judgement of someone to whom iambic pentameter sounds absolutely normal is not to be trusted. :)

        >As for "iambic tetrameter" and so forth, I stand in awe of your linguistic prowess.

        *giggle* I was a Montessori kid, so knowing the proper names for everything is almost an obsession...

        tetrameter= four feet (I laughed|I cried|I then|replied|) and iambic=a light stress followed by a heavier one (so laughed is more stressed than I). Anapest= two light stresses followed by a heavier: I replied, with I and re- getting a ligher stress than -plied.

        >Thanks for sharing your story of "MS Word user to poetical programmer" :-)

        It's all Yitzchak's fault! ..and a fair trade, I guess. He gave me Perl and I gave him poetry... well, perhaps not so fair a trade.. he can write Perl and I can't write poetry, I just quote it and critique it!

        Eliana

Re^4: I laughed, I cried, I...
by belg4mit (Prior) on Feb 02, 2007 at 21:38 UTC
    d'I replied

    --
    In Bob We Trust, All Others Bring Data.

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