Nice list. Of the six choices, I'm betting on some combination of
Don't be pedantic.
This is not a teachable moment.
If we need a new module, you install it and take care of all the details.
Don't tell me to figure out a new module.
There are times when you can think about the best way to do a job and learn something new in the process, and there are times when you need to just get something fixed so you can go back to whatever needed your urgent attention before this irritating problem interrupted.
Obviously, I'm much happier when I can think and learn, and make code better, but all too often the stacked-up urgencies don't allow that. I'd say that to "go all PerlMonks" means to get into the think-learn-and-improve mode, and out of the ASAP mode. (And we all know of examples where the think-learn-and-improve mode is the faster of the two, but it's tough to tell if that's going to be true going into a specific problem.)