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The glass is...

by Minimiscience (Beadle)
on Jun 12, 2007 at 07:31 UTC ( #620654=poll: print w/ replies, xml ) Need Help??

vote on The glass is...

half full.
[bar] 52/10%
half empty.
[bar] 11/2%
empty. Hey, I was thirsty.
[bar] 49/9%
Hold on, let me measure it.
[bar] 35/7%
a cylindrical object formed mostly from molten silicon dioxide, lacking an upper base, and containing approximately 50% hydrogen oxide with trace amounts of lead and 50% atmospheric gasses.
[bar] 74/14%
just another part of the illusion that our senses are all tapped into.
[bar] 43/8%
broken. Where's your stupid personality test now, huh?
[bar] 49/9%
severely lacking in my alcoholic beverage of choice.
[bar] 103/20%
Wait, that's not a glass! It's a small mimic!
[bar] 45/9%
Glass? What glass?
[bar] 55/11%
516 total votes
Comment on The glass is...
Re: The glass is...
by apotheon (Deacon) on Jun 12, 2007 at 08:04 UTC

    The cynic's answer: The glass is half empty, but it's probably better that way.

    print substr("Just another Perl hacker", 0, -2);
    - apotheon
    CopyWrite Chad Perrin

Re: The glass is...
by Zaxo (Archbishop) on Jun 12, 2007 at 08:08 UTC

    . . . falling. Stormy weather ahead.

    After Compline,
    Zaxo

Re: The glass is...
by regexes (Hermit) on Jun 12, 2007 at 08:16 UTC
    it's half empty... but that won't stop me from drinking the rest. ;-)
Re: The glass is...
by cdarke (Prior) on Jun 12, 2007 at 08:22 UTC
    ... a booklet listing used car prices in the UK.
Re: The glass is...
by elsiddik (Scribe) on Jun 12, 2007 at 08:28 UTC
    its always empty.
Re: The glass is...
by pajout (Curate) on Jun 12, 2007 at 09:11 UTC
    There is two glasses. The first contains 2 dcl of red wine, the second 2 dcl of white wine. You will sequentially move one spoon of wine from 1. gl to 2. gl, mix it, two spoons from 2. gl to 1. gl, mix it, and one spoon from 1. gl to 2. gl. Is more concentrated red wine in 1. gl or white wine in 2. gl. ? (No side effects, no jokes...)
    Update: I prefer red wine...
      I would say about the same.

      But anyhow, I still don't like wine. So we could trown them away and get that 2l of Pepsi instead!

Re: The glass is...
by ciderpunx (Vicar) on Jun 12, 2007 at 09:32 UTC
Re: The glass is...
by shmem (Canon) on Jun 12, 2007 at 09:50 UTC
    ...uninteresting. It's the bottles what counts :-)
    sub b{[@b=(abs||n.o,bottle."s"x!!++$_,of,beer),on,the,wall]}print "@{+b},\n@b,\nTake one down, pass it around,\n@{+b}.\n"for-pop||-99..- +1

    (code by mtve and thospel)

    --shmem

    _($_=" "x(1<<5)."?\n".q·/)Oo.  G°\        /
                                  /\_¯/(q    /
    ----------------------------  \__(m.====·.(_("always off the crowd"))."·
    ");sub _{s./.($e="'Itrs `mnsgdq Gdbj O`qkdq")=~y/"-y/#-z/;$e.e && print}
Re: The glass is...
by apl (Monsignor) on Jun 12, 2007 at 10:05 UTC
    ... not large enough. Try drinking from a Yard (a yard-long glass); that takes dexterity. And a while to empty...
      Ah, yes. I spent many a useful hour in college at The Irish Lion learning how to drink yards. We used to play a game called First and Ten: take as many yards as you can. The best part is watching neophytes; at a certain point, and the experienced yard-drinker knows what I'm talking about, the neophyte will have the glass tipped WAAAaaaay too high, there will be a loud GLUG, and the neophyte's eyes will enlarge to the size of ashtrays as a tsunami of Harp rushes towards them.

      It's a shame, really; what a waste of Harp to have it splash all over the clothes of neophyte.

      --
      tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub)
      And remember, if he succeeds, so what.
      - Chick McGee

        I spent many a useful hour in college at The Irish Lion learning how to drink yards.
        Ah, you were far wiser than I. My (unsuccessful, but fun) yard experiences were on my own time, working on a contract in London. Where was the Irish Lion?
        the neophyte will have the glass tipped WAAAaaaay too high,
        Oh, no...
        there will be a loud GLUG,
        Please, no...
        and the neophyte's eyes will enlarge to the size of ashtrays as a tsunami of Harp rushes towards them.
        It was Guiness for me, and you must have been watching. I did say "unsuccessful, but fun". 8-)
Re: The glass is...
by japhy (Canon) on Jun 12, 2007 at 11:16 UTC
    I would've liked to have chosen the option: "."

    The glass is. It is just is.

    Groovy, man.


    Jeff japhy Pinyan, P.L., P.M., P.O.D, X.S.: Perl, regex, and perl hacker
    How can we ever be the sold short or the cheated, we who for every service have long ago been overpaid? ~~ Meister Eckhart
      The glass is. It is just is.

      Deep philosophical approach. But the realm of Perl is pragmatics, as $Larry likes to put it: my Perl driven approach is that the glass' fill() method should be called quite often. Although with roles I would have a class Pint do that, with my alcoholic beverage of choice of course... Now, ain't this pragmatic?

Re: The glass is...
by arc_of_descent (Hermit) on Jun 12, 2007 at 12:32 UTC

    broken. period.


    --
    Rohan

      broken. period.

      Nope. It was a bug. It has been fixed. Updated your glass to the latest release off CPAN.

Re: The glass is...
by margulies (Friar) on Jun 12, 2007 at 13:17 UTC
    Depends...

    If its a glass of water, its doesn't matter;
    If its an alcoholic drink... Well, it won't be full in seconds.
      but the depends will be...gj
Re: The glass is...
by Util (Priest) on Jun 12, 2007 at 13:20 UTC

    From the "Optimist T-shirt" in ComputerGear.com catalog:
    Optimist:The glass is half full.
    Pessimist:The glass is half empty.
    Engineer:The glass is twice the size it needs to be.

Re: The glass is...
by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jun 12, 2007 at 13:23 UTC
    shouldn't that be Hydrogen Dioxide? (trying to remember back to HS chem :-)
      Water? Dihydrogen monoxide. :)
      C(qw/74 97 104 112/);sub C{while(@_){$c**=$C;print (map{chr($C!=$c?shift:pop)}$_),$C+=@_%2!=1?1:0}}
        That's right. I used to be decent at chemistry :-)
Re: The glass is...
by wolfger (Deacon) on Jun 12, 2007 at 13:51 UTC

    The glass is always full. The tricky part is figuring out what it's full of.

    The running joke about the professor filling the glass with rocks, then again with pebbles, then again with sand, then again with beer, always asking if the glass is full, and always the students say yes.... The fictitious(?) professor ignores the fact that the glass *is* always full, and that he's always displacing something (air) with something else to "fill" the glass.
    Of course, the student response that "there's always room for beer" works too :-)

      wolfger,
      The argument could be made that the glass is always empty too. Or at least, so close to empty no one cares. I am of course talking about the nature of atoms and how much of the building blocks of matter are empty. You can't make the argument that the empty part is filled with air.

      Cheers - L~R

        You can't make the argument that the empty part is filled with air.

        Not with air, but how 'bout the quanta of the interaction holding electrons and nuclei tied up? But seriously, how could we get here, when everything seemd to have started from the idea of a good glass of beer, or wine? Now, where's my pint of Slalom Strong?!?

Re: The glass is...
by samizdat (Vicar) on Jun 12, 2007 at 14:06 UTC
    I'm just tickled that the glass isn't broken. :D

    Don Wilde
    "There's more than one level to any answer."
Re: The glass is...
by gloryhack (Deacon) on Jun 12, 2007 at 14:47 UTC
    The fluid level in the glass is far less important than the fluid level in the bottle of Jack Daniel's Old Number 7 self-serve psychotherapy elixir.
      The fluid level in the glass is far less important than the fluid level in the bottle of Jack Daniel's Old Number 7 self-serve psychotherapy elixir.

      You remind me of the "acknowledgements" of the Scsh Reference Manual. To quote:

      (emphasis added by me!)

Re: The glass is...
by gregor42 (Parson) on Jun 12, 2007 at 16:04 UTC

    ...designed with too much capacity & is therefore inefficient....

    ...itself a liquid, though moving really really slowly...

    ...laced with iocane powder....



    Wait! This isn't a Parachute, this is a Backpack!
      Good thing you "...spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder."

      tubaandy
Re: The glass is...
by Anonymous Monk on Jun 12, 2007 at 16:14 UTC
    You are all wrong.

    The glass is simply too big. Find a smaller one that doesn't waste space.

      The glass is simply too big. Find a smaller one that doesn't waste space.

      You're wrong too. If you don't have space, have you considered moving to Texas?

Re: The glass is...
by Andrew_Levenson (Hermit) on Jun 12, 2007 at 16:51 UTC
    Half empty, and the waiter is NOT getting a very good tip.
    C(qw/74 97 104 112/);sub C{while(@_){$c**=$C;print (map{chr($C!=$c?shift:pop)}$_),$C+=@_%2!=1?1:0}}
      My eyesight is going. I thought you were going to poorly tip the water.
      Which would, naturally, leave the glass less than half full...
Re: The glass is...
by zentara (Archbishop) on Jun 12, 2007 at 17:03 UTC
    Since no one else mentioned it...... polycarbonate-dishwasher-safe

    I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. Cogito ergo sum a bum
Re: The glass is...
by BrowserUk (Pope) on Jun 12, 2007 at 17:30 UTC

    Yes. The glass is!

Re: The glass is...
by thezip (Vicar) on Jun 12, 2007 at 18:41 UTC

    ... a real pane.


    Where do you want *them* to go today?
Re: The glass is...
by GrandFather (Cardinal) on Jun 12, 2007 at 20:54 UTC

    It's not a glass, it's a spoon - and there is no spoon.


    DWIM is Perl's answer to Gödel
      My spoon is TOO big!
        I am a BANANA!
        C(qw/74 97 104 112/);sub C{while(@_){$c**=$C;print (map{chr($C!=$c?shift:pop)}$_),$C+=@_%2!=1?1:0}}
      So by logic there's no glass? Take the bottle... ;-)

      --shmem

Re: The glass is...
by ww (Bishop) on Jun 12, 2007 at 22:14 UTC
    Half full? Half empty?

    Half, either way?

    FLOG THE WAITSTAFF!

    We can't have that kind of inattentive service around here!

Re: The glass is...
by Knom (Beadle) on Jun 12, 2007 at 22:15 UTC
    I'm a realist... the glass is BOTH half empty and half-full.
        Wow! Thanks for the complement! I only wish!
Re: The glass is...
by jesuashok (Curate) on Jun 13, 2007 at 06:19 UTC
    not enough
Re: The glass is...
by Anonymous Monk on Jun 13, 2007 at 07:44 UTC
    on fire; and now empty
Re: The glass is...
by itub (Priest) on Jun 13, 2007 at 08:01 UTC
    ...a quantum superposition of a full eigenglass and an empty eigenglass, until you observe it.
Re: The glass is...
by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jun 13, 2007 at 12:43 UTC

      Klein bottles have no beer inside, so what's the point in buying one?

      emc

      Any New York City or Connecticut area jobs? I'm currently unemployed.

      There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method.

      —Herman Melville
        It could be a Klein Stein :-) I might just have to order one of those.
Re: The glass is...
by kwaping (Priest) on Jun 13, 2007 at 15:12 UTC
    I voted for "small mimic" because Nethack is the best game ever. Major kudos for thinking of that poll option! Sometimes I feel like I'm the only person who still plays (or even remebers) that game, but of course, the Monks prove me wrong again. :)

    ---
    It's all fine and dandy until someone has to look at the code.
Re: The glass is...
by Chainsaw (Friar) on Jun 13, 2007 at 15:50 UTC
    If is strict to the term the glass is a cylindrical object, and yes that was my vote too.

    Other option could be: a glass?? what's a glass??



    God help me always to see the other face of the coin. And prevent me from accusing of betrayal those who don't think just as I do.
Re: The glass is...
by ady (Deacon) on Jun 13, 2007 at 18:35 UTC
    A thirsty monk who went to the owner of a restaurant and asked her: "If I can inspire you with a Buddhist Teaching, will you give me a glass of water?", to which the pious Buddhist restaurateur eagerly said: "Yes".

    With confidence that he (the monk) would earn his lunch, the monk solemnly quoted the Heart Sutta: "Form is emptiness. Emptiness is form".

    "Wonderful! Marvelous! How profound!" exalted the woman. "Please monk, wait here a moment".

    The thirsty monks' throat was already gulping as the woman brought an big glass from the kitchen covered with a lid. "Sit down, Venerable Sir. Here's your glass of water said the woman.

    Then she placed the heavy glass before the expectant monk, removed the lid and reveal an empty form. "If form is emptiness and emptiness is form", said the woman, "Then, Venerable Sir, Drink emptiness!".

    all..
Re: The glass is...
by CaMelRyder (Pilgrim) on Jun 13, 2007 at 19:18 UTC
    Wait, that's not a glass! It's a small mimic! Nethack, baby! Woo Hoo!
    ¥peace from CaMelRyder¥
Re: The glass is...
by raptur (Acolyte) on Jun 13, 2007 at 21:12 UTC
    wouldn't it have to be a diminutive or tiny mimic?
Re: The glass is...
by starX (Chaplain) on Jun 14, 2007 at 20:40 UTC
    That's no glass, that's a space station.
Re: The glass is...
by wjw (Curate) on Jun 15, 2007 at 05:51 UTC
    None of the above really, It is a looking glass.....

    .. or maybe just a word... containing other words...

    ..as a lass with gas and a sag in her ass and handful of slag, who tends to lag...

    • ...the majority is always wrong, and always the last to know about it...
    • The Spice must flow...
    • ..by my will, and by will alone.. I set my mind in motion
Re: The glass is...
by strat (Canon) on Jun 15, 2007 at 08:46 UTC

    ... twice as big as necessary... what a waste...

    Best regards,
    perl -e "s>>*F>e=>y)\*martinF)stronat)=>print,print v8.8.8.32.11.32"

Re: The glass is...
by belg4mit (Prior) on Jun 16, 2007 at 00:11 UTC
    Molten?!

    --
    In Bob We Trust, All Others Bring Data.

Re: The glass is...
by tbone1 (Monsignor) on Jun 17, 2007 at 13:24 UTC
    The glass is overallocated to the water.

    SIncerely,
    The Project Management Team

    --
    tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub)
    And remember, if he succeeds, so what.
    - Chick McGee

Re: The glass is...
by headybrew (Beadle) on Jun 18, 2007 at 01:42 UTC
    Some idiot made the glass twice as big as it needs to be.
    :)
Re: The glass is...
by johndageek (Hermit) on Jun 19, 2007 at 16:31 UTC
    Oh Great!
    Another half Glassed poll. ;)

    Enjoy!
    Dageek

Re: The glass is...
by Smaug (Pilgrim) on Jun 20, 2007 at 06:56 UTC
    Hello,

    An "upper base" ?? Somebody is going to have to explain that to me. Is it like an "internal exoskeleton" and a "expansive implosion"
    Regards,
    Smaug.
    Peddle faster monkeys!! I need more power!!
      An "upper base" ?? Somebody is going to have to explain that to me.

      Well, geometrically it does perfect sense. It's part of the lexicon, I'd say. But if you like, the buzzword is oxymoron, which of course is not an oxygenated moron.

      Is it like an "internal exoskeleton"

      Oh, well hypothetically an organism could have an "internal exoskeleton", were it covered with further soft tissues... but... wait... we should call it "mesoskeleton" then... what a headache... what was the Perl question anyway?!? :-)

Re: The glass is...
by webchalkboard (Scribe) on Jun 20, 2007 at 17:19 UTC

    This poll would suggest the Perl community is turning into an AA breeding ground... That's what staring at code all day does to ya! Let this be a warning! :)

    Learning without thought is labor lost; thought without learning is perilous. - Confucius
    My site
Re: The glass is...
by Pied (Monk) on Jun 20, 2007 at 23:18 UTC
    Filled with beer, next to my keyboard ! What a nice idea had my pal to offer me a booze as I was to check the monastery !

    P!

    Are the monkeys gone yet?
Re: The glass is...
by duckyd (Hermit) on Jun 21, 2007 at 01:46 UTC
    very very big (at airport bars)
Re: The glass is...
by shmem (Canon) on Jun 26, 2007 at 12:11 UTC
    ...useless: there's too little space to pour something in, for one, and then look! it has a big hole at the bottom!

    --shmem

    _($_=" "x(1<<5)."?\n".q·/)Oo.  G°\        /
                                  /\_¯/(q    /
    ----------------------------  \__(m.====·.(_("always off the crowd"))."·
    ");sub _{s./.($e="'Itrs `mnsgdq Gdbj O`qkdq")=~y/"-y/#-z/;$e.e && print}
      ...useless: there's too little space to pour something in, for one, and then look! it has a big hole at the bottom!

      shmem, that was not the glass! How many have you already drunk thus far?!?

        Of them? well, one... standing on me head and using my levitational skills to force antigravitation upon my feyvruit bevverache ... too much dissipline needed... way too much... *hick* ;-)
             wu--qw
             |  | |
             |  | |
             |-GM-|  
             |    ¯¯\  _
            / /¯-`¯\(Q|-| <-- glass
           | /(·/·
        ___|m|_WW__________________
        
        

        --shmem

        _($_=" "x(1<<5)."?\n".q·/)Oo.  G°\        /
                                      /\_¯/(q    /
        ----------------------------  \__(m.====·.(_("always off the crowd"))."·
        ");sub _{s./.($e="'Itrs `mnsgdq Gdbj O`qkdq")=~y/"-y/#-z/;$e.e && print}

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