perldoc perlfaq1 | perl -ne '/((?<=")(.+hack...(?:OR)?))/&&die$2.$/' -
See also One-liner japh, Just Another JAPH, Opere Citato Japh, and JAPF for the same idea (some of these only work with older versions of perl though).
Bought a souvenir
Emailed all my friends about it
Got blowed up
Hit him right dead in the jaw
Made it awkward
Took a selfie
Want to go home
Results (348 votes). Check out past polls.