I offer certifications. Basic cert is free so you're in luck.
I hereby confirm that Bheema_Tyco is certified to write Basic Perl
Of course you'll never be able to get a job with a Basic Certification. What you need is an Advanced Ceritfication. While not free, I think you'll find that it is really worth it in today's job market. Please send $50,000 to me via PayPal and I'll print and ship your official Advanced Perl cert immediately. (This approximates both the cost and the actual value in the workplace of the average US college degree.)