Don't believe him: the only Real
Advanced Perl Certificates are to be ordered from me. They come in full colour prints (you may even choose the text colour yourself) on thick cream-coloured paper with (of course) Gothic lettering and hand-signed by myself. To make sure that these certificates are the real stuff, they come with a certificate stating that they are real and valid for any legal purpose. You cannot get them any more official than that!
A program should be light and agile, its subroutines connected like a string of pearls. The spirit and intent of the program should be retained throughout. There should be neither too little or too much, neither needless loops nor useless variables, neither lack of structure nor overwhelming rigidity." - The Tao of Programming, 4.1 - Geoffrey James