good chemistry is complicated,
and a little bit messy -LW
Re: snakes and laddersby armstd (Friar)
|on Aug 25, 2011 at 15:34 UTC||Need Help??|
"The definition of insanity is trying the same thing over and over and expecting different results." Not giving up...doesn't mean just try the same thing again.
Eating humble pie... means acknowledging that people were trying to help you with constructive criticism, putting time and effort into writing something to help you the best way they knew how. It means admitting that by ignoring their attempts to help, maybe you were disrespecting their experience and effort. So maybe that in turn earned some unfriendly responses, as is the nature of things.
It means looking back and really considering what was said from others perspectives, which I really don't see here. That's where "egotistical" comes from. Refusing to acknowledge others perspectives might be different than yours. Perhaps, just perhaps, "you got as good as you gave" instead of just "you gave as good as you got". Maybe, just maybe others took your comments, and ignoring their attempts to help as disrespectful and were insulted by you.
Being humble and knowing your place is not about doing what you're told and blindly accepting the criticism of others as correct. It's about giving due consideration as to whether it might be correct.
When they say "I learned this crap in CS101 and it worked for me!", then instead of considering that as an insult to your degree-less status, you could consider that "I should find a CS101 class and get the benefit they're suggesting they did and it will help me". Lots of schools offer night classes, part-time, non-matriculated, web-delivered... seriously. Opportunities to learn what you need to know are out there. The same books used in those classes are available in local libraries, bookstores, Safari, etc.
Perlmonks is not going to teach you everything you need to solve your issues. That's impossible. At best we can only hope to give an example or two and hope to pique your interest enough that you go off and learn what you really need in a more constructive environment, like a classroom or a library. There's no silver bullet here.
Sure, some of the feedback you got was less constructive than other feedback. That will always be the case. If you can't be humble enough to just ignore it, and focus on getting what you really came for, then you're the one that loses in the end.
In all of this post, I don't see you taking any responsibility at all for possibly misunderstanding others intentions before. Or insulting and disrespecting others knowledge and experience from having done such things before. You only seem to apologize for being new, for not knowing what you need to know, for not kissing more arse, for being indignant at others insults. For being a hapless victim, and not an instigator. That is egotistical, that is not humble.
So, my best advice, the one thing that will help you the most here, more than any technical advice, is "learn to work with others." You will always get mixed responses, and if you cannot deal with criticism, advice you don't like, or even destructive responses, then you really shouldn't participate in any public forum. You will get all of the above. Always. Online or off. Suck it up, be humble, and deal with it. Focus on what you came for, and you might just get that too if you're lucky.
Having written this, I must be insane. I know it's all been said before.