You enter the Monastery and
- you are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
- you are in a dark alleyway. Scratches and bloodstains line the walls.
- you see exits south and east of you.
- there is a small mailbox here.
- it is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.
- the dusty cover of a trap-door appears.
- i don't know how to 'Please'.
- your office, where you carry out your Bastardly duties.
"You have reached the Monastery. All our helpdesk monks are busy at the moment. Please press "1" to instantly donate 10 currency units for a good cause or press "2" to hang up. Or you can dial "12" to get connected directly to second level support."