|Don't ask to ask, just ask|
Re^3: Let Me CPAN That For You!by pemungkah (Priest)
|on Mar 21, 2012 at 02:17 UTC||Need Help??|
Sure it has utility, but it has no kindness.
I personally believe in giving someone I've never met the benefit of the doubt the first time I meet them. Maybe they're doing something in a way that I know is suboptimal by experience they don't have yet. Maybe they really are lazy bums. One kind investment may pay off big - or not.
I personally don't respond unless I feel like I can interact with someone in a way that will benefit them and which allows me to practice my own...I suppose you might call it "spiritual", in the sense that Zen is spiritual, path of trying to put more kindness and grace into the world. I may respond to unkindness in word by a gentle reminder about kindness instead, and will try to make my point in a peaceful manner. If this works, everyone wins. Even if it does not, I've lived my philosophy that kindness is valuable, and that acting on what I believe is the right thing to do.
This is the reason why I prefer the "here's something that might help, and how you might use it, and the value of doing it this way" approach to someone unknown, rather than the "you did not do what I think is correct and therefore I will judge you and find you wanting" one.
A kind and thoughtful response has value to the greater community beyond the present moment. If someone who is trying to do it right comes upon an example of a kind and informative response to a question, they are much more likely to think, "this is a group of people who value other people and who I can trust to not be nasty if I ask a question".
We want people to think this about Perlmonks, and about the people who use Perl.
See this article about one guy's experience with the Rails community. (If you don't want to bother reading it, they've been acting like idiots.) I don't ever want anything I post in response to someone on a technical forum to make them feel like this guy does.
So kind on the first try, and ignore if they really are too lazy to do the work themselves.