|We don't bite newbies here... much|
Good to see you trying to branch out from poetry, as I don't think you have a lot of future there. However, you're off to a bit of a rocky start with your new comedy routine. You need more original material, and the build isn't good - you start with familiar material, which is okay for a beginner - trying to create that important connection to the audience, good to see you've got that instinct - but your second joke unfortunately doesn't have much of a point, so the energy curve doesn't move upward, meaning the third joke doesn't have the strong support it needs, given that you're taking that leap into insult comedy. The second joke needs to be a really solid one to make sure that the audience is on your side before taking quite so extreme a step. Go back and think about your material - do you have a stronger joke that can go in there, perhaps a longer bit that will get the audience on your side?
As far as current trends in comedy go - most standup isn't the old-school one-liner/two-liner material anymore; you may be more suited to a style more like Louis CK, where he uses his own flaws as the basis for his comedy. You certainly seem to have material to work with there. I suggest hitting more comedy clubs to get a better idea of what's current, and you might want to try some local improv classes; those will sharpen your real-time skills and give you less-risky experience in front of an audience. Would still recommend a flak jacket and head protection, maybe even a getaway car with the current material.
If you feel you're ready for it, open-mic nights will let you try out material to see what kind of reaction you'll get. Again, body armor is still likely a consideration, so you'll definitely not want to go with the tux; I think you'll need to go informal. Hawaiian shirts go reasonably well with Kevlar.
Finally, most comedy clubs don't accept anonymous performers, so you'll need to consider that as well. The Unknown Comic did that one in the 70's (80's?), so you'll need a new angle. Maybe you can do an Anonymous-On-Stage bit. That will definitely take some work, but you can work the socially-backward nerd angle better with that.
Best of luck in your new gig.
Oh wait, were you trying to insult me? My mistake! Sorry!
In reply to Re^5: How many man-hours would you estimate you have invested in learning Perl?