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This code transforms perl error messages into something more pleasing to the eye: a Larry Wall witticism!

use strict;BEGIN{$SIG{qq)__WARN__)}=sub{$..=$_[$===!$=]}}eval,$..=$@for
qq}bless("Wall","Larry"),Not("Wall","Russ");#},qq!;print Magic,counts!,
qq#use strict;\$Perl=42#,qq>goto"WALL, LARRY ONTO (OR ON?) SOMETHING">,
q~warn+Randal::Nevermind()~;s~~pop~e;$~=/^[1-7]$/?~-$&:rand$=>>$^F+!$%;
@;                                                                   =(
q~                           -F+=->*/+/*+*W*.                        ->
*/                        *.+=*+*.*/+/*+*3*/-B*+*                    ,+
1*                   +*1*\*\*\*,*2*D*2*:*c*W*,+1*\*                  \*
\*                 ]~,q~                         -Z*-                *c
*/               *:*2                              *c*               W*
,+             1*2+                                  1*/             *7
*<           */*.                                   +  =*2           */
+1          *++`                                    *   /*c          +`
*/         +1*+                                  *G  ,    I+=        *.
*2       *:*/                                   *     A    *+*       c*
2*     /*W                                    *,       ->   */*      1*
7*    7,G                                   *2           +   1*/     *7
*D   *2*                                :*/*              c   +`*    /*
3+  =*7                             *G*1                   +   1*2   *:
*/  *+*                         .*]*                        3   *7*  c*
2*  /,,                *2*:*1*/.                            +   */*  A*
7+  1*2              ->                                     *    /*  +*
,+  1*/             *3                                       *   +*  W+
1-  >*/            ,                                         *   -:  +=
*+  *.*            /                                          *W*3*  /*
.+  =*+           *                                              .-  >*
/*  3+/           *          2*+*:*W*,,I-Q,**]~,q~-F*0*D*W*7*G*3*1+  `*
/-  Z*/           +/*+*3*/*2*W    *.+=*2*    :    *   /*7*,*.     *  7*
/*  3*7           *          c *2*  .+=  *W  *    , ,I  ->*  /*7  *  :*
/*  7*,           *          / *3*7*c*2*.+=  *    W *,,I*\*]~,q~  -  ;*
1*  1*/           *          1               *    +               *  ,,
I*  G*   +,I     *           2               *    /+              1  *2
*3  *W   ,  I*,*2            *               :     *3             *  /*
+*  :*   2                   *               /     * +            *  :*
:*  7,   I  *+*               ,*.*\*/+X*7*2*3       * /+/*W*.+=*/*   .+
=*  2*    /                              *          .          *     2*
:*   :     *                            W          *           .     *7
*:    +     `                            * \*\    *            \     */
.R     *      9*T                              *]             ~      ,q
~-      Z       *                  .*-*3*/*.+=*2*/-V*+,I      *      W*
A*       /      *                .+=*+*.*/*A*7*G*,*.*3*\*     ]      ~,
q~        -     B               *+*,+1*+*1*/*A*+*,*/+/*:*W   *       .*
2*         /   *                7*,*2  *9*1*W*,*2*:*3  */*+  ,       I*
+*          W *                 ,*\*  /              -  W*D *        2*
:+           `*                 7*,   *2*/*W*3*/+=*+,=   ,=+         `-
>*            /                                            *         +*
,+            1                                           *          /,
=*            2                                          *           +*
A*           2       *                                  /            *3
,=           *        :                                *             2*
++           1          *                             3              *]
*7           *            D                          *               2*
:*          /               *                       .   +            =*
2*          /                 +                    /     +           =*
7*         1                    *2*              /-       W          *+
*:        *                          .+=*\*]~,q~            -        Z*
/,                                                                   G*
,*7+/*/*W*.*-*3*/+/*2*W*:+1->*/*0*G*.*/*W*.*/+1*7*2*3*/*c*+,G*2*/*W*.*/
*2*+*3*W*2*:*/*.*7*/+/*:*W*.*2*/,=*7*2*.*:+`*/*W*,*/,=*2*:*1*\*/.R*9*T*
]~);s;\s;;gfor@;;@;=map{$;=chop;$=*(-42+ord)-42+ord$;}$;[$~]=~/../g;#;-
print(($.=~/./sg)[@;]) #-!"#$%&'()*+,-./:;<=>?@[\]^_`!"#$%&'()*+ -- /-\
By default, one of seven witticisms is randomly displayed, though you may ask to see a specific witticism by giving a command line argument of 1-7.

Since this program depends on the precise wording of perl's error messages, you might brand it fragile in the extreme. However, I've tested it with perl 5.005, 5.6.0, 5.6.1 and 5.8.3 and found no problems so far. Here's hoping the wording of these carefully chosen perl error messages does not change in future versions of perl. :-)

Update: Put code tags in a comment so download link will work. Thanks ambrus.

In reply to Larry Witticisms from perl Errors by eyepopslikeamosquito

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