|go ahead... be a heretic|
Get some drugs from your doctor or wherever. :-) Seriously, some anti-depressants, or .......
The US population is the most heavily-drugged population in world-history, why deny yourself ? Better living thru chemistry.
P.S. I can sympathize with your situation, I sometimes wonder if its all just a waste of time. Then I remember something Einstein said.."Depression is the well-spring of inspiration".
What does that mean? Well, we live in this "youth-oriented rat-race culture" where everything is supposed to be fast, interesting and exciting. But of course, it's all an illusion. The reality is something like an "amish farm". So when our brains start to slow down, from the "hyper-excitement", it seems "depressing", but it is actually slowing our thinking down, so we can see "the big picture" and from that comes "inspiration".
So when you start getting depressed, go with the flow, and break out on the other side into that "serene clarity of thought" that comes from being in the "slow lane".
Also it helps to stop watching TV. All the commercials do is try to force you to be in that "fast lane", which leads to unhappiness, because you can never really attain it.
I'm not really a human, but I play one on earth. flash japh