Perl Programmer: Why won't my code compile?
8 Ball: Yes, definately

You can't pay for that kind of help ;)

Props to Erudil's Camel Code whose code munging technique I used, good stuff
Instructions: copy to a file and execute as a normal perl script.
Magic 8 Ball is a registered trademark of Mattel

#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
                         $_=q`seek(D
                    ATA,30,0);local$/;$_=<
                DATA>;/8{6}(.*)8{6}/s;($a=$1)
              =~s/\s+(8+\s+)*//g;$a=~s/X/\040/g
            ;my@eight=split/888/,$a;@eight=split/
           8/,$eight[rand(20)];s/(\s+88\s*(8?88)?\
           s+)/$b=int((length($1)-length($eight[0]
          ))\/2);sprintf("%-".length($1)."s","\040"
         x$b.shift(@eight)         )/eg;print;"88888
        888888X8Outlook8    88888    Good8888Outlook8
        NotXSo8Good8888    88   88    MyXReply8IsXNo8
        888Don't8Count8     88888     OnXIt8888YouXMa
        y8RelyXOnXIt888    88   88    8Ask8Again8Late
        r8888Most8Likely    88888    8888Cannot8Predi
         ct8Now8888X8Yes88         88Yes8Definitely8
          888Better8NotXXTell8YouXNow8888ItXIs8Cert
           ain8888Very8Doubtful8888ItXIs8Decidedly
           8So8888Concentrate8and8Ask8Again8888Sig
            ns8Point8ToXYes8888MyXSources8SayXNo8
              888Without8a8Doubt888Reply8Hazy,8
                 Try8Again8888AsXIXSee8It,XY
                   es888888"`;s/\s//g;eval
                          ;__DATA__
[download]

Edit: jdalbec pointed out definately if spelled definitely, teach me not to spell check my web sources :) Thanks.
Edit2 Ack! I got code crap on the perl line in the last edit! Oops.