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This script was inspired by an email i received a while ago, and the recent thread How do you wanna die. Both great stuff, and in continuing my trend as the buffoon of Perlmonks, I give you "Haiku Die Messages"...

UPDATE : As per dws post below, the source of these haikus is on Salon.com. As stated previously, i received them in the form of a forwarded email. No attempt has been made on my part to claim these as my own work.
#!/usr/bin/perl use strict; #Random Haiku Die Messages for Windows #This script was influenced by a forwarded email I saw a while back, w +ith Haikus as Windows errors. #I have adapted it to be used in Perl. my $h1 = "A file that big?\nIt must be very useful.\nBut now it is gon +e.\n"; my $h2 = "You seek a Website.\nIt cannot be located.\nCountless more e +xist.\n"; my $h3 = "Chaos reigns within.\nStop, reflect, and reboot.\nOrder shal +l return.\n"; my $h4 = "ABORTED effort.\nClose all that you have worked on.\nYou ask + way too much.\n"; my $h5 = "Yesterday it worked.\nToday it is not working.\nWindows is l +ike that.\n"; my $h6 = "First snow, then silence.\nThis thousand dollar screen dies\ +nSo beautifully\n"; my $h7 = "With searching comes loss.\nThe presence of absence.\n\"June +Sales.doc\" not found\n"; my $h8 = "The Tao that is seen\nIs not the true Tao.\nUntil you bring +fresh toner.\n"; my $h9 = "Windows NT crashed.\nThe Blue Screen of Death.\nNo one hears + your screams.\n"; my $h10 = "Stay the patient course.\nOf little worth is your ire.\nThe + network is down.\n"; my $h11 = "A crash reduces\nYour expensive computer\nTo a simple stone +.\n"; my $h12 = "Three things are certain:\nDeath, Taxes and Lost Data.\nGue +ss which has ocurred.\n"; my $h13 = "You step in the stream.\nBut the water has moved on.\nPage +Not Found.\n"; my $h14 = "Out of memory.\nWe wish to hold the whole sky\nBut we never + will.\n"; my $h15 = "Having been erased,\nThe document you are seeking\nMust now + be re-typed.\n"; my $h16 = "Serious error.\nAll shortcuts have disappeared.\nScreen. Mi +nd. Both are blank.\n"; my @haikus = ($h1, $h2, $h3, $h4, $h5, $h6, $h7, $h8, $h9, $h10, $h11, + $h12, $h13, $h14, $h15, $h16, $h17); my $haiku = $haikus[rand @haikus]; print $haiku; # this is perfect for die () messages. Next time you you write a prog +ram, whack this in, and use $haiku # for your die messages... # copyright 2001 azatoth # haikus courtesy of salon.com - thanks dws for source!


Feel free to hack it and add your own messages, I don't mind as long as they're five-seven-five...

Azatoth a.k.a Captain Whiplash

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In reply to Haiku Die Messages by azatoth

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