This script was inspired by an email i received a while ago, and the recent thread How do you wanna die
. Both great stuff, and in continuing my trend as the buffoon of Perlmonks, I give you "Haiku Die Messages"...
UPDATE : As per dws post below, the source of these haikus is on Salon.com. As stated previously, i received them in the form of a forwarded email. No attempt has been made on my part to claim these as my own work.
#Random Haiku Die Messages for Windows
#This script was influenced by a forwarded email I saw a while back, w
+ith Haikus as Windows errors.
#I have adapted it to be used in Perl.
my $h1 = "A file that big?\nIt must be very useful.\nBut now it is gon
my $h2 = "You seek a Website.\nIt cannot be located.\nCountless more e
my $h3 = "Chaos reigns within.\nStop, reflect, and reboot.\nOrder shal
my $h4 = "ABORTED effort.\nClose all that you have worked on.\nYou ask
+ way too much.\n";
my $h5 = "Yesterday it worked.\nToday it is not working.\nWindows is l
my $h6 = "First snow, then silence.\nThis thousand dollar screen dies\
my $h7 = "With searching comes loss.\nThe presence of absence.\n\"June
+Sales.doc\" not found\n";
my $h8 = "The Tao that is seen\nIs not the true Tao.\nUntil you bring
my $h9 = "Windows NT crashed.\nThe Blue Screen of Death.\nNo one hears
+ your screams.\n";
my $h10 = "Stay the patient course.\nOf little worth is your ire.\nThe
+ network is down.\n";
my $h11 = "A crash reduces\nYour expensive computer\nTo a simple stone
my $h12 = "Three things are certain:\nDeath, Taxes and Lost Data.\nGue
+ss which has ocurred.\n";
my $h13 = "You step in the stream.\nBut the water has moved on.\nPage
my $h14 = "Out of memory.\nWe wish to hold the whole sky\nBut we never
my $h15 = "Having been erased,\nThe document you are seeking\nMust now
+ be re-typed.\n";
my $h16 = "Serious error.\nAll shortcuts have disappeared.\nScreen. Mi
+nd. Both are blank.\n";
my @haikus = ($h1, $h2, $h3, $h4, $h5, $h6, $h7, $h8, $h9, $h10, $h11,
+ $h12, $h13, $h14, $h15, $h16, $h17);
my $haiku = $haikus[rand @haikus];
# this is perfect for die () messages. Next time you you write a prog
+ram, whack this in, and use $haiku
# for your die messages...
# copyright 2001 azatoth
# haikus courtesy of salon.com - thanks dws for source!
Feel free to hack it and add your own messages, I don't mind as long as they're five-seven-five...
Azatoth a.k.a Captain Whiplash
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