good chemistry is complicated,
and a little bit messy -LW
Mothera and anyone else ...
I am currently still in Universtiy taking Computer Systems Enigeering. Every day I wake up with plenty of new tasks on my plate and a new, totally forgein, problems to try and solve. Often it is very tough to stay afloat ... let alone try to swim with the sharks !!
One puts in horrendus amounts of time sometimes and still no concrete solution is reached. Sometimes, one puts in 5 minutes and the problem is solved completly. If you ask a peer they may have done it in 5 minutes compared to your 20 hours ... or vise versa. This gets very frustrating and sometimes you feel like you are making no progres and you even feel pretty stupid sometimes.
This was very hard for me to cope with at first ... but I have been kinda forced to learn that each person is VERY different from another. I basically comes down to YOU. It is all about genetics and drive. Some people will learn faster, some people will push themselves to learn more, some people will burn out trying to do more, some people will never really know ... and some people will give up at the first sign of trouble. This applies to ALL ranges of intellegence and smarts (I consider the formentioned to be very different). YOU make the choice and YOU have to live with whatever choice YOU make. (YOU meaning anybody who is reading this)
After many hours of worrying, thinking and everything in between I have come to this simple conclusion:
Keep fighting for what you want .. it will come.
I work-out and run to de-stress ... and one day while running I had a thought that seems relevent ... at one point in time I couldn't crawl... then I learned to do that ... then I learned to walk ... then run ... now I train myself at a much higher level. (I was running my daily 5km) It often seemed that I had reached a limit ... but then one day further down the road I realized that I had passed it a long time ago.
In this context, I just had a full year of Java and Assembly programming courses at school. When I started I knew nothing of either. I was excited to learn. As the courses progessed I ran into problems of varying degrees. Some I solved all by myself, some I had help on and some I never solved completely (argh). Exmas ended last Thusday. I may not be a pro Java, C++, ASM, Perl etc. programmer ... but I know more than what I knew before ... and I am trying new things daily. Sometimes I feel stupid and other times I feel like a God ... it all depends on what is going on. The most important thing is that I have not ... and will not give up. There will always be people who are better at this than me ... but as long as I am pusing my limits I am happy (in retrospect or after some thought).
With respect to your situation ... I think that you just need to chill ... and keep plugging away at things. Like everything ... in the end you will get out exactly what you put into it. One day you will look back and say ... "I posted that, wow, I really came a long way !!"
There will always be a new challenge and a new plateau to reach ... and then surpass. Keep climbing and keep fighting !!!
"We rock the body to rock the party ... until the party rocks the body"
De La Soul