|Syntactic Confectionery Delight|
It's a teddy bear. Not a "bear or koala". A koala just won't do. And not just any bear either.
A Teddy bear's goodness is measured on the Huggability Index, which is calculated from a few factors: color, feel, softness, and substance.
Color affects the introductory look and must mean something. Clean white is glowing (attracts childrens' attention best). Brown is traditional. Yellow and pink are acceptable, but it depends on your mood.
Feel: The fur of the teddy tells you what type of teddy it is. Soft is for sleeping, hard is for holding, and inbetween for ones various hugging needs.
Softness: When hugging a teddy it must give; noone wants to hug a brick wall. The stuffing used is very important, and how much there is.
Substance: Sometimes, the teddy has too much softness and it feels like it isn't there. A teddy with no resistance is no teddy at all.
To evaluate a candidate teddy on the huggability index before purchase, first make sure that noone is around. Stare at the teddy and appreciate its color. Then go in for the hug and decide how you feel, paying attention to all the factors on the index.
Note: The Huggability Index can also be used for your purchase of a Mac Mini.