#!/usr/bin/perl 
use strict;

#Random Haiku Die Messages for Windows

#This script was influenced by a forwarded email I saw a while back, with Haikus as Windows errors.
#I have adapted it to be used in Perl.

my $h1 = "A file that big?\nIt must be very useful.\nBut now it is gone.\n";
my $h2 = "You seek a Website.\nIt cannot be located.\nCountless more exist.\n";
my $h3 = "Chaos reigns within.\nStop, reflect, and reboot.\nOrder shall return.\n";
my $h4 = "ABORTED effort.\nClose all that you have worked on.\nYou ask way too much.\n";
my $h5 = "Yesterday it worked.\nToday it is not working.\nWindows is like that.\n";
my $h6 = "First snow, then silence.\nThis thousand dollar screen dies\nSo beautifully\n";
my $h7 = "With searching comes loss.\nThe presence of absence.\n\"JuneSales.doc\" not found\n";
my $h8 = "The Tao that is seen\nIs not the true Tao.\nUntil you bring fresh toner.\n";
my $h9 = "Windows NT crashed.\nThe Blue Screen of Death.\nNo one hears your screams.\n";
my $h10 = "Stay the patient course.\nOf little worth is your ire.\nThe network is down.\n";
my $h11 = "A crash reduces\nYour expensive computer\nTo a simple stone.\n";
my $h12 = "Three things are certain:\nDeath, Taxes and Lost Data.\nGuess which has ocurred.\n";
my $h13 = "You step in the stream.\nBut the water has moved on.\nPage Not Found.\n";
my $h14 = "Out of memory.\nWe wish to hold the whole sky\nBut we never will.\n";
my $h15 = "Having been erased,\nThe document you are seeking\nMust now be re-typed.\n";
my $h16 = "Serious error.\nAll shortcuts have disappeared.\nScreen. Mind. Both are blank.\n";

my @haikus = ($h1, $h2, $h3, $h4, $h5, $h6, $h7, $h8, $h9, $h10, $h11, $h12, $h13, $h14, $h15, $h16, $h17); 

my $haiku = $haikus[rand @haikus];

print $haiku;

# this is perfect for die () messages.  Next time you you write a program, whack this in, and use $haiku
# for your die messages...
# copyright 2001 azatoth
# haikus courtesy of salon.com - thanks dws for source!