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my $one = !$|;
my $one = cos;        # Given that $_ == 0.
...
my $one = $>/$>;      # Effective user ID.
my $one = $(/$(;      # (Space-separated list of) group ID(s).
my $one = $)/$);      # (Space-separated list of) effective group ID(s
+).

my $two = length $:;
my $two = $^F;        # Note: system-dependent.