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Perl Poetry

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"Poetry" is in the eye of the beholder; it could be any of:
  • Poetry written in Perl
  • Using perl to generate poetry
  • Poetry about Perl/PerlMonks
New Poems
Binary Comedy -- 01 - 000001
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by Discipulus
on Apr 07, 2021 at 12:32
                                                                               to my father, sure of his pardon :)

    As a middle age hacker I found me lost
    where no route to internet in ARP is,
    in an orrorific and awful dark web host

    It's hard to say how much it was bugged
    this damned cloud based outpost
    that even now recalling it I'm troubled

    So lost and empty of meaning as is /dev/null
    but I found in it some Pearls of Wisdom
    so I'll tell you my journey in that hull.

    I dont know which port I used to get in,
    as with big effort I was coding drunk,
    when I lost my trustful path to /bin.

    I telenetted lower ports, all inspiring fear
    but reached the one hundred twenty three
    I've been aware of the hour and the year:

    the Dawn was rising in my own timezone
    enligthening our dear planet and all beings,
    born from a mother or in good Earth grown.

    With a mind refreshed as after a clean boot,
    after a night fearing failing regression tests,
    without the dread sensation of not being root,

    as the coder, exhausted and doing “pant pant”
    who finally see 'OK all tests are passed',
    happy to avoid another manager's rant

    in the same way I glanced back at that host,
    with my spirit still howling for the fear,
    that cloud service where every hope is lost.

    So I climbed the so called net, but is a tangle,
    after a short rest just to play with it nicely,
    I adventured myself again in that inter jungle

    And all of sudden, coming from the switch uplink
    a feral four legged window spreading bugs
    of various shapes, but all with the same old stink.

    So obtrusive it was, blocking my escape path,
    with license agreements, EULAs and costs
    that I was temped to return to the host in wrath.

    The real-time clock read the early morning
    and the Sun was rising with the company
    of stars as when, with his first 'use warnings',

    the Mighty Divine 01 moved all those syntactic
    goodies, blessing the whole serie of drives
    with the logic kindness of his holy 'use strict'

    so the hope rose in my poor programmer mind,
    but I was terrified by the sight of giant octopus
    wearing so huge glasses to appear as blind.

    The beast approached me, with his orrendous googles,
    lasciviously rubbing its tentacles on my secrets
    and rummaging in my pockets without scruples.

    Also a stinking cloud, a yellow smile of falsehood,
    was there, carrying all craving in its leanness,
    it provoked despair to many and it is so misunderstood.

    That cloud with its unseizable stack of complex layers
    made me abandon the hope to be free again in the net:
    I'd have been blocked not by one but by three slayers.

    As the startup suddenly become famous and rich
    who lost its appeal, popularity money and founders
    and now seeing the future way darker than the pitch,

    in the same way the window, octopus and this ghost
    made me feeling lost and all together stalking me
    they drove me hopelessly back to the dark web host.

    While retreating down, fleeing such crave of dollars
    my eyes perceived the silent shape of somebody,
    long mustache and even longer his shirt collars

    as in sixties and seventies was the rare fashion
    “Help me please! Programmer or not” I cried
    “drive away these beasts! Show for me compassion!”

    “Not only programmer”, he said, “but language creator
    from the New World discovered by your Columbus,
    they gently say of me: a programming innovator.

    I born there, in the angels town, we were under Ike,
    I bet you are younger, eighteen years at least,
    so you born under the great liar and the alike.

    I'm a programmer, early known for patch
    then to parse some logfile I planned Pearl,
    the name was taken; I did Perl from scratch.

    But why do you insists in this dark place?
    Why not climb up the switch uplink and router,
    to the land of GNU and free software space?”

    “Gee..! Cant believe! You must be that Larry,”
    I answered him, blushing a bit, “Author of
    the genial tool now tasting of strawberry!

    “O light and honor of all other geeks,
    it serve me now the lovely read of your
    volume, which lead me in higher peaks.

    You are my master and my author, you,
    the only inspiring me with your Perl,
    my language, well, the only one I knew..

    Do you see that feral beasts I was fleeing:
    save me from them and let me escape,
    'cause they made me shudder up to peeing”

    “If they reach you they'll made you psychopath”
    he answered when he saw my tearfulness,
    “so I suggest you, listen: follow another path

    because these beasts causing your outcry,
    no one let pass behind them, they kill you
    also if you are so fool to insist, so: dont try.

    They never sate their dollars greedy will
    and after an aquisition they have more room
    for more ones, in an ever growing bank bill

    they copulate with every kind of business,
    not caring if workers have to piss in bottles,
    but a GNU is told will kill them with wiseness.

    This antelope will never eat secrets nor cookies
    but science, freedom, wisdom with no throttles
    and it will be good for hackers and also rookies

    and the GNU will restore digital rigths of poor,
    avenging many who suffered and died for them,
    and this will be accomplished with no more war.

    The GNU will chase them up to /dev/null
    where they started their malicious path one day
    and every town will see of these beasts the skull.

    Therefore I'll help you to avoid bad tricks
    so follow me and I shall route you, taking
    your character through this living Matrix

    where you shall see the howling desperation
    of living avatars projected here in pain
    without be aware they suffered amputation

    of their senses, and also you'll see coders
    happy to make PHP but with the hope to
    be in the number of better tool uploaders.

    But if you will ascend more, another companion
    more worthy than I am, will guide you because
    I need to prepare yet another State of the Onion

    and also because the Divine 01 who reigns above
    got irritated for my hubris to do better than C
    even if He understand I made my Perl with love.

    The Divine 01 the whole Matrix rules
    from top to bottom and all avatars destiny
    holds, of wiser ones but also of fools”

    And I replied: “Thanks Larry, if I'm permitted
    the confidence: I'll happily accept your guide,
    with your tools I feel by far better outfitted

    to avoid these beasts and even worst dangers,
    that I may see the gateway of the wise Knuth
    and those avatars I feel I'll found as strangers.”

    So he set out with a happy follower behind him.


    There are no rules, there are no thumbs..
    Reinvent the wheel, then learn The Wheel; may be one day you reinvent one of THE WHEELS.
@ISA happy memory
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by Anonymous Monk
on Feb 10, 2021 at 19:18
    I don't post logged in,
    socials link to my handle.
    I return every few years,
    get filled with nostalgia.
    Now back to work,
    to do whatever.
    But not with my Perl,
    not today, and likely not ever.
the road ahead
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by Anonymous Monk
on Oct 14, 2019 at 04:25
    perl -le'$_=`perldoc -T perlfaq4`,s/^.*N;(.*?)E.*$/$1/s,print'
obfupoetry II
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by Discipulus
on Mar 21, 2019 at 04:46
    In occasion of first day of Spring* i give you the second issue of perl obfupoetry:

    How:to:forget:when:I:was:young: join ' had ', (glob'spr{a,e,i,o,u}ng')[2,4]; Now:I:get:in:the:middle:of: join ' and ', (glob'Y{i,a}n{,g}')[0,-1]; and:I:remember:it:was:a:bang: seek DATA,0,0;while(<DATA>){last if/DATA/; chomp&&print/:/?(join$",split':',$_):eval,$/} __DATA__


    (*)please do not reply with positivist comments about the exact first day of Spring: seasons always start in day 21: the notion is in my mind since..

    There are no rules, there are no thumbs..
    Reinvent the wheel, then learn The Wheel; may be one day you reinvent one of THE WHEELS.
The wise coder
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by hippo
on Jan 22, 2019 at 14:14
    The wise coder will never pipe grep into awk
    For unneeded processes cause neighbours to talk.
    The wise coder will never type cat file | foo
    Unless they want a UUoCA too.
    The wise coder will never discard output from backticks
    As that displays ignorance of better tactics.
    The wise coder won't shell out to grep, awk or sed
    Since no JAPH would be seen doing that, dead.
Perl is Magic
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by usemodperl
on Jun 29, 2018 at 20:27
    Looking for ways to get perl to make Magic? Any odd way to print that word: like a JAPH! This shell one liner runs 3 perl one liners that run perl 4 times to make Magic:
    perl -e'$_="Larry";while(++$_){print"\rPerl is $_";goto(MAGIC)if/Magic +/}MAGIC:print"\n"';perl -v|perl -pe's\Perl\Magic\magic';perl -e'print +"[Perl$^V] ";<STDIN>'

Sex !
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by usemodperl
on Jun 21, 2018 at 13:06
    perl -v|perl -pe's\(?<=r)[l]\x\g;s\(?<=pe)r\\gi;s\p(e)\S$1\gi'
    perl -MO=Deparse -e 'E S I X G S O O D'
a prime bug
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by ownlifeful
on Jun 10, 2017 at 21:24
    chomp and print join ',', grep $_, (map length, split /[a,]/), "\n" while <DATA>; __END__ a bug trapped inside a paper lantern, arid aflutter, ablaze
Perl, I'm coming home...
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by ait
on May 25, 2017 at 12:38

    I love you and I miss you. Have been making some dough with Java for the past few years but I am returning to you with my new endeavour.

    My time with Java has been a means to an end and I can now say, with a great degree of certainty, that there is no other language I would rather code with for the rest of my life.

    With the same degree of certainty I can also say what a piece of crap Java is.

    Can't wait to type your wonderful syntax again, and can't wait to learn 6.

    Cya soon! ait
therapist autopilot
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by Anonymous Monk
on Apr 27, 2017 at 20:38
    __END__ End your diagnosis' Qualification withdrawn Thin skin moisturize

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