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You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...

by trantor (Chaplain)
on Aug 01, 2001 at 14:23 UTC ( #101343=poem: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

your colleagues ask you a comment about the recent Company reorganization and the first thing that comes to your mind is:

# the recent Company reorganization

-- TMTOWTDI

Note: This is not a poem, but grinder is to blame if I posted it here :-)

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
You know you've been a member of PerlMonks too long when...
by azatoth (Curate) on Aug 01, 2001 at 18:27 UTC

    5. You /msg your boss telling him to format his code properly.

    4. You submit your colleague's new shirt for consideration -> Delete! Reason : Too 80s

    3. You type "/me runs off to work" on a mail to your boss.

    2. You proclaim "localtime(),All!" when you enter the office.

    And the number one hint you've been on PerlMonks too long...

    1. You ++ your spouse on her/his performance last night.

    Note : Number 1 is purely hypothetical and I never did it.  Honest.

    Azatoth a.k.a Captain Whiplash

    Make Your Die Messages Full of Wisdom!
    Get YOUR PerlMonks Stagename here!
    Want to speak like a Londoner?
      3. You type "/me runs off to work" on a mail to your boss.

      Even better is when you realize that you have to go do something and think:

      /me goes off to buy some groceries.

      --xPhase

Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by grinder (Bishop) on Aug 01, 2001 at 14:36 UTC
    oh right, blame me! Well it was that or a Meditation.

    Ok, you know you've been programming in Perl too long when your SO asks you to buy some things at the shops and your shopping list winds up looking like this:

    my @need = qw/bread milk lettuce tomatoes/; push @need, 'wine';

    --

    g r i n d e r
      ... and when you come back from the supermarket you think you could: use strict 'diet';

      :-)

      -- TMTOWTDI

Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by stefan k (Curate) on Aug 01, 2001 at 14:34 UTC
    ... your wielding a +42 regex of confusion

    Thanks to premchai21 for one of the best laughs in the last days
    ("This is Wild Cheddarbox Nethack...")

    :-))

    Regards... Stefan

Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by ChOas (Curate) on Aug 01, 2001 at 14:39 UTC
    ... your debug print statements consist mostly out of prayers,
    swear words, and passages from the bible.

    * applies to any language, actually... oops, I think I did a $Subject=~s/Perl //;

    GreetZ!,
      ChOas

    print "profeth still\n" if /bird|devil/;
Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by xphase_work (Pilgrim) on Aug 01, 2001 at 21:46 UTC
    You want your epitaph to say:
    #!/usr/bin/perl -w use strict; my @life = qw 'birth starting middle ending death'; foreach my $part (@life){ if($part ne 'death'){ print "Have fun, Code perl!\n"; } else{ die "There's nothing left to code...\n"; } }

    --xPhase

    PS - Obfu or even more compact code would work as well, but I went for pure readability.

      xphase_work,

      That's beautiful; it actually brought a tear to my eye. Here I am sobbing in my office. waaah.

      OK, that's a little much, but a really do like this.

      Scott

Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by premchai21 (Curate) on Aug 01, 2001 at 17:58 UTC
    This actually happened to me about a month ago.

    I was at a party for my grandmother's birthday, and at some point happened to have a glass of orange soda, which I, being rather thirsty, finished rather quickly. I wanted to keep the glass but didn't want to hold it, so I set it down on a table, hoping no one would take it. Later:

    (glass isn't there)
    I . o O (Huh?  Why isn't my glass here?)
    (another subself speaks up:)
    I . o O (Oh, they must have GCed my glass because I forgot
             to keep a reference to it, and it had no circular
             reference (orange soda)...)
    
(crazyinsomniac) Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by crazyinsomniac (Prior) on Aug 02, 2001 at 13:45 UTC
    you're talking on the phone, and start getting defensive after you hear "... line noise ..."

    you write oneliners while yawning during class

    you chuckle every time you mention a built-in function (pop);

    start adding people to your #! list

    install perl on every machine you sit down (sit down at ;)), even if only for a minute

     
    ___crazyinsomniac_______________________________________
    Disclaimer: Don't blame. It came from inside the void

    perl -e "$q=$_;map({chr unpack qq;H*;,$_}split(q;;,q*H*));print;$q/$q;"

(thabenksta) Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by thabenksta (Pilgrim) on Aug 01, 2001 at 19:17 UTC
    you dream of while loops, and if's and else's. -thabenksta
    my $name = 'Ben Kittrell'; $name=~s/^(.+)\s(.).+$/\L$1$2/g; my $nick = 'tha' . $name . 'sta';
Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by spacewarp (Pilgrim) on Aug 03, 2001 at 21:03 UTC
    ...you're able to start successful joke threads.

    Spacewarp

    DISCLAIMER:
    Use of this advanced computing technology does not imply an endorsement
    of Western industrial civilization.
Re: You know you've been programming in Perl too long when...
by parv (Vicar) on Jan 02, 2003 at 09:21 UTC

    here is my list...

    • change the name of a list returning sub from "array_maker" to "list_maker". then marvel for a moment for noticing the difference.
    • cringe to resrort to character comparisons lacking regular expression like facilities.
    • somehow make do only w/ "if", in other programming languages, unless exists "unless" look-alike.
    • write and think in terms of "unless exists..." in english the language

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