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The worst excuse I have ever heard is:

by davies (Prior)
on Jan 01, 2020 at 22:59 UTC ( #11110846=poll: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

vote on The worst excuse I have ever heard is:

The wind blew the wrong way
[bar] 7/6%
Leaves on the line
[bar] 6/5%
The wrong kind of snow
[bar] 7/6%
Yes, but I didn't inhale
[bar] 18/16%
Categorically, er, no. Unless I was drunk at the time
[bar] 4/4%
The lines of Venus were in the wrong juxtaposition
[bar] 5/4%
No-one needs more than 640K of RAM
[bar] 38/34%
The dog ate my homework
[bar] 14/13%
It's my first day
[bar] 13/12%
112 total votes
Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by davido (Cardinal) on Jan 02, 2020 at 00:07 UTC

    • I didn't change anything.
    • It doesn't work.
    • I already tried that.
    • I found a bug in Perl.
    • It was working yesterday.
    • I don't need architecture because we just need to get it done quickly.

    Update: A friend once told me he bought a system with a 100MB hard drive because that was bigger than all his neighbors' drives. Admittedly, at the time I was still swapping 3.5" floppies, often putting the contents of the first floppy into a ram disk on a system with 1MB RAM so that I could avoid all the swapping to run my PASCAL compiler. The poll option regarding 640KB RAM reminded me of this.


    Dave

      A friend once told me he bought a system with a 100MB hard drive because that was bigger than all his neighbors' drives.
      The 640k RAM one similarly reminded me of when someone donated an old TRS-80 Model 12 to my high school, and they turned around and gave it to me. ("Well, we can either store it somewhere for a few years until we finally sell it at an auction for 50 cents... or we can ask Dave if he wants it.") In addition to being my first *nix system (Xenix, to be exact), it also included my first-ever hard drive, holding a whopping 12M. At the time, I was absolutely convinced that it would be all the disk space I would ever need for the rest of my life...

      It was working yesterday or was not working yesterday but is working today may be feeble but I've come across it several times, especially on systems with lots of caches, so you have no idea what state the system really is in...!


      --
      ajt
      I thought I was in dev!
        Actually ... the first thing I achieved at my current $job was to drastically change the colors of different log-in environments.

        Giving a visual clue helps!

        update

        especially when debugging in multiple windows.

        Cheers Rolf
        (addicted to the Perl Programming Language :)
        Wikisyntax for the Monastery FootballPerl is like chess, only without the dice

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by perldigious (Priest) on Jan 06, 2020 at 21:31 UTC

    I'm not sure about worst excuse ever, but one I've heard a lot recently that's pretty awful is some variation of, "we just did what the data indicated." I actually first learned Perl to essentially do some low level Data Science type of stuff, but I quickly realized the individuals who were asking me to do it (middle managers and low level executives) weren't so much interested in finding out what the data said, but more so in figuring out which data to look at and which to ignore to reinforce their already formulated conclusions when they presented them up the chain of command (higher level executives) to indicate their department is doing a super great job, or whatever.

    I got pretty tired of being asked to tweak little things, change how this is measured going forward, or update the calculation to include/exclude things to bolster the numbers in favor of some individual's argument.

    I'm not in the same position under the same folks anymore (thankfully), but I still have this Dilbert tacked to my wall as a reminder.

    Just another Perl hooker - My clients appreciate that I keep my code clean but my comments dirty.
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by ambrus (Abbot) on Jan 07, 2020 at 23:05 UTC

    "The system doesn't allow me to do that." Where "system" refers to whatever crappy software they're using.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by Eily (Monsignor) on Jan 08, 2020 at 12:15 UTC

    "It can't be me I didn't touch that part" by someone who had made the only commit between the correct and buggy version.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by afoken (Canon) on Jan 08, 2020 at 11:06 UTC

    "But it works on my machine!"

    Alexander

    --
    Today I will gladly share my knowledge and experience, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so". ;-)
      "But it works on my machine!"

      Could perhaps also be construed as "The best excuse I ever heard" ??
      Dunno ... ;-)

      Cheers,
      Rob
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by talexb (Canon) on Jan 07, 2020 at 15:43 UTC

    Ugh. Reminds me of doing some testing of a 3201 (poll-select) communications system with (as it turned out) my ex-employer. There would occasionally be system failures, and one of them was explained away (during the Winter) as 'Snow on the lines'. I was gobsmacked. This was the last 90's. I had nothing.

    Fortunately, there was a tech at ex-employer that I'd played hockey with, and he was totally on the ball. When I had him on the phone with a problem, I got it solved right away. So at least there were *some* competent people there. That was a weird period of employment -- leading a major communications project with a company that had .. laid me off as being 'below standard'. Huh.

    Alex / talexb / Toronto

    Thanks PJ. We owe you so much. Groklaw -- RIP -- 2003 to 2013.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by LanX (Archbishop) on Jan 05, 2020 at 16:00 UTC
    • Of course did I test my changes to our framework!

      ( "Hey, I started the web-app once and it still looked the same..." )

    Cheers Rolf
    (addicted to the Perl Programming Language :)
    Wikisyntax for the Monastery FootballPerl is like chess, only without the dice

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by thezip (Vicar) on Jan 13, 2020 at 22:17 UTC

    Being in the military at one time, I was accustomed to hearing "That's above my pay-grade", or worse, "That's beneath my pay-grade!"


    *My* tenacity goes to eleven...
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by QM (Parson) on Jan 10, 2020 at 12:15 UTC
    It works for me

    I only changed a comment.

    It's a Lunar Phase Dependency.

    -QM
    --
    Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

      It's a Lunar Phase Dependency.
      One debugger I used actually had an option to display the phase of the moon :). And actually that debugger (which was otherwise quite good) had a bug that made the execution misbehave when stepping over some instructions under specific conditions. As you might guess, I was using the debugger trying to find a bug, so I ended up with what I thought was a single bug that was behaving differently depending on how close I was trying to observe it. Lunar Phase Dependency alright.

        what I thought was a single bug that was behaving differently depending on how close I was trying to observe it

        This is known as a Heisenbug.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by Laurent_R (Canon) on Jan 16, 2020 at 22:38 UTC
    This must be due to bit decay.
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by LanX (Archbishop) on Jan 01, 2020 at 23:05 UTC
Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by stevieb (Canon) on Jan 05, 2020 at 17:35 UTC

    "There was an imminent threat!"

    ...or, in my case...

    "I was watching Canada play for international hockey gold!"

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by bliako (Parson) on Jan 08, 2020 at 12:49 UTC

    security

    I don't know if this is the worst, most irritating or the best excuse ever!

      It's perhaps one of the best, while frustrating I think your SMBv1 issue seems like more of a policy/lack of investment in infrastructure issue.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by Lotus1 (Vicar) on Jan 23, 2020 at 19:39 UTC

    My cat was sleeping on my weighted blanked so I couldn't get out from under it.

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by bliako (Parson) on Jan 08, 2020 at 01:13 UTC

    because you are free / because you have free will

Re: The worst excuse I have ever heard is:
by LanX (Archbishop) on Jan 10, 2020 at 15:59 UTC

    • It's in Perl! (shrug)

    Cheers Rolf
    (addicted to the Perl Programming Language :)
    Wikisyntax for the Monastery FootballPerl is like chess, only without the dice

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