Though I strongly disagree with pretty much everything you've written,
I doubt I can change your opinions.
Based on your (strong) opinions, instead of Modern Perl,
I suggest you try these two books instead:
In case it helps, chromatic gave some background
on the philosophy behind his Modern Perl book in
Modern Perl assumes you're already decent at programming, so it elides some basic stuff in favor of explaining how
Perl works from philosophy to programming in the large. Learning Perl assumes you've never programmed before,
so it spends more time on the basics, covers less of the language, and doesn't explore the philosophy of Perl in as much detail.
See also: List of PM nodes discussing Perl books