http://www.perlmonks.org?node_id=177973

A mighty pain to love it is, and it is a pain that pain to miss;
but of all pains the greatest pain, it is to love, but love in vain...
-- Abraham, Cowley
if ($in_love) { if (!&love) { &pain(1) } else { &pain(0) } } else { { &pain(0) } } sub pain { $love_in_vain = shift; $pain++; &pain(1) if $love_in_vain; }