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(humor) The first rule of The XP club is...

by ybiC (Prior)
on Jul 11, 2002 at 21:25 UTC ( [id://181149]=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

The First Rule Of the XP Club is "don't talk about xp"

The Second Rule Of The XP Club
  The XP Club is *not* the Perl Club

The Third Rule Of The XP Club
  vroom rox!

The Fourth Rule Of The XP Club
  For maximum effect state rule 3 when vroom is present

The Fifth Rule Of The XP club
  perl -le 'print "Blame ".${["ar0n", "tye"]}[rand 2]'

The Sixth Rule Of The XP Club
  Laugh at all MP references...   Ni!

The Seventh Rule Of The XP Club
  Thou shalt not persist in long drawn out lame senseless jokes in the CB unless using the superdupersecret PM invisible ink

The Eighth Rule Of XP Club
  Thou shalt encourage initiates to post questions about yon XP system so thee canst reply with "XP doesn't matter" and gaineth thy 50 XP ;-)

The Ninth Rule Of The XP club
  Keep your fellow monks engaged in CB conversations till waaaay past their bedtime

The Tenth Rule Of The XP Club
  Don't post in the Confessional or Return of the Confessional, then people will know your tricks

The Eleventh Rule Of The XP Club
  There *is* no 11th Rule (expunged after vroom posted "New Site Rules Governing User Accounts")

Props to cjf and zdog for significant contributions.
And to davorg for copied borrowed inspiration for node format

    striving toward Perl Adept
    (it's pronounced "why-bick")

Update: VSarkiss wins the Swell Prize® for having spotted the following was-hidden-but-is-now-exposed secret messaage:

The First-and-a-halfth Rule Of The XP Club
  Upvote ybiC   ;^)

Update: added links to Confessional and Return of... above.   Thanks to brother John M. Dlugosz for the suggestion.

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: (humor) The first rule of The XP club is...
by FoxtrotUniform (Prior) on Jul 11, 2002 at 21:34 UTC


    It's the middle of the night. The only two names present in the Other Users nodelet are those of two Saints. One takes issue with the other's consideration, and sends him a snide /msg. Soon, downvotes are flying; the reputations of the two combatants' newest nodes drop like stones. All the while, rancorous messages fly back and forth in the Chatterbox.

    A rank Novice logs in for the first time. For a minute, two minutes, five, he stares at the flames and insults flying past, hitting "talk" as fast as his net connection can load pages. Then, hesitantly, he makes his presence known:

    <newbie> Can... can I be next?

    The hell with paco, vote for Erudil!

Thou shalt not use "thee" when thou meanst thou.
by BrotherAde (Pilgrim) on Jul 12, 2002 at 07:38 UTC

    Woe is me, for this post seemeth off the topic, but by my troth, methinks I should at some stage publish a work titled "how thou shalt and shalt not use 'thou'". Such as in:

    so thee canst reply with "XP doesn't matter" and gaineth thy 50 XP ;-)

    ...translateth into modern English as "... so to you can reply... and gains your 50 XP ;-)

    Indeed, that kind of spellynge remindeth me of "He who slasheth the dot", a minstrel who is not well known for his accuracie in the writing of the English tongue...

    So: some hints:

    • thou = "you" (nominative case) -> "Thou art a knave"
    • thee = "you" (accusative case) -> "I knight thee"
    • thy = "your" (possessive) -> "Thy computer crasheth"
    • = The same as ...s for 3rd person singular.

    May thy mind in future be clearer!

    Brother Ade

      Forsooth, methinkest he knewest well what he doth, and merely takest the pith. For verily, yon ybiC hath a copy of the KJV on hith bedside table gadzooks.

      George Sherston
Re: (humor) The first rule of The XP club is...
by Juerd (Abbot) on Jul 12, 2002 at 06:30 UTC

    perl -le 'print "Blame ".${["ar0n", "tye"]}[rand 2]'

    perl -le'print "Blame ", (qw/ar0n tye/)[rand 2]'
    perl -le'$foo{ (qw/ar0n tye/)[rand 2] }++ for 1..1000; print "tye was +blamed $foo{tye} times.\nar0n was blamed $foo{ar0n} times."' tye was blamed 516 times. ar0n was blamed 484 times.
    Sorry, tye :)

    - Yes, I reinvent wheels.
    - Spam: Visit eurotraQ.

Re: (humor) The first rule of The XP club is...
by demerphq (Chancellor) on Jul 12, 2002 at 13:53 UTC
    perl -le 'print "Blame ".[qw "ar0n tye"]->[rand 2]'
    TMTOWTDI :-)

    Yves / DeMerphq
    Writing a good benchmark isnt as easy as it might look.

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