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A Little Bit of Twisted Humor

by abitkin (Monk)
on Sep 05, 2002 at 14:51 UTC ( #195397=poem: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

Fellow Monks, (and I'm quite happy to be able to say that now,)
    As some of you may already know, I'm going in to have my wisdom teeth removed tomorrow. As such, I wanted to make light of it, a little bit, as a way of getting rid of the stress. So I present, my code for Friday:
use Anaesthethic::General; $feelingFine=true; my @wisdomTeeth = (grep /^Wisdom/ (keys %teeth)) foreach my $wisdomTooth (@wisdomTeeth){ delete $teeth{$wisdomTooth}; } sleep(10800) if $prescription->filled or $pain > THRESHOLD; while($pain != 0){ $feelingFine = false unless ($prescription->pills > 0); }
    Go ahead and add your own comments/improvments to this, I want to see what's the best that can be done before I go in (about 24 hrs from now, 8:30 am PDT.)

    Have fun with it.

Edited My friend pointed out sleep is in seconds not in milliseconds in perl, and I had a syntax error to fix.

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: A Little Bit of Twisted Humor
by ignatz (Vicar) on Sep 05, 2002 at 15:19 UTC
    I prefer the Three Stooges method:
    use Beverage::Adult::Scotch; use Thing::Door; use Thing::String; use Thing::Hammer; $feelingFine=true; my @wisdomTeeth = (grep /^Wisdom/ (keys %teeth); my $front_door = new Thing::Door; my $string = new Thing::String; my $bottle = new Beverage::Adult::Scotch; my $result = undef; foreach my $tooth (@wisdomTeeth){ $front_door->attach($tooth, $string); my $how_hard = 10; unless ($result) { $bottle->take_shot(); $how_hard++; if ($how_hard < 20) { $result = $front_door->slam($how_hard); } else { $ballpean = new Thing::Hammer; $result = $ballpean->whack($tooth); } } delete $wisdomTeeth{$tooth}; } while($pain != 0){ $bottle->take_shot(); }
Re: A Little Bit of Twisted Humor
by brianarn (Chaplain) on Sep 05, 2002 at 16:37 UTC
    For the while loop at the end, wouldn't you want it the conditional to be $pain > 0 rather than just non-zero? I mean, negative pain would be pleasure, so $feelingFine would be true and you'd have no need of pills. ;)


      No need for pills, huh? Well, it is not uncommon to celebrate happiness with pills.

      "Ow, my whole HEAD hurts! Pass me that bottle."

      "Wow, I feel GOOD! Pass me that bottle."

      Or maybe I'm just in a Friday sort of mood...

OT: Re: A Little Bit of Twisted Humor
by zentara (Archbishop) on Sep 05, 2002 at 15:16 UTC

    Has anyone ever figured out what wisdom teeth were for?

    Just to inflict pain on people when they get to middle age, or was it some long lost adaptation, where the wisdom teeth move in to replace lost molars?

    I hope this dosn't affect your "monk-wisdom ". :-)

    Edited: ~Fri Sep 6 20:48:45 2002 (GMT) by footpad: Replaced <PRE> tags with more appropriate HTML formatting.

      Wisdom teeth used to serve a useful purpose, but are now considered vestigial organs. A vestige is a degenerative or imperfectly formed organ or structure having little or no utility, but in the earlier stage of development of a species performed a useful function.

      The reasons that wisdom teeth are now "outdated" are many. Until quite recently (on an evolutionary scale), our diet included mostly very coarse food, as well as impurities such as dirt and sand. This coarseness would abrade teeth so significantly that they would take up less space in the jaw. Permanent teeth were also frequently lost at an early age, which would create more space in the jaw.

      Because the diet was so coarse and hard to chew, the jaw itself would develop into a larger bone because of this constant workout. All of these factors would create more space for the wisdom teeth when they came in.

      The heavily processed diet of today does not produce the tooth abrasion or jaw development that we used to see. Modern dentistry has pretty much eliminated significant loss of permanent teeth at an early age. This leaves us with too many teeth and not enough jaw.

      The wisdom teeth still develop as they always have, but they have no where to go.

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