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Re: Lame? Stupid? Newbie?

by clintp (Curate)
on Aug 04, 2000 at 07:44 UTC ( #26133=note: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to Lame? Stupid? Newbie?

Not to mention that usually these things don't add anything useful to the subject. We know you don't know, otherwise you wouldn't be asking. Now shaddap and ask! :)

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RE: Re: Lame? Stupid? Newbie?
by nuance (Hermit) on Aug 04, 2000 at 14:35 UTC
    What shut up and ask?

    Reminds me of a scene from the young ones - bambi - when Neill is testing Rick on history on their way to university challenge.

    Neil: Oh, I wish we'd missed the train after all now. I'm just not going to be able to answer anything, I just know it.

    Rick: Oh, come off it, Neil, you little swotty-pants. Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a total spazmo. You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? You've done loads and loads of work on it and I haven't done anything, nothing at all. Go on, test me. Go on, test me!

    Neil: You just said you hadn't done anything.

    Rick: Don't be clever, just take the book. [Rick throws his notebook at Neil]

    Neil: Alright, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.

    Rick: I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Right, do it properly and don't skip bits.

    Neil: [reading the title of the notebook] "O-Level History Notes"?

    Rick: Yes, bit of pretty bloody billiant luck, eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level!

    Neil: [Reading from the notebook] "Prick is a wonker. Signed, the rest of the class."

    Rick: Ah, yes, now, that was a sort of "in joke" that we had in my form. Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.

    Neil: "...I agree with the rest of the class. Signed, Teacher."

    Rick: Just test me on the stuff, will you? [Indicating a different page] There!

    Neil: Alright, alright, don't get uncool and heavy. "Crop rotation in the 14th century..."

    Rick: Right. [reciting] "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."

    Neil: "Considerably".

    Rick: What?

    Neil: It's "considerably more widespread", not "much more".

    Rick: Well?

    Neil: Well, you said, "do it properly."

    Rick: Well, not that much, you stupid bloody hippie!

    Neil: You said, "do it properly and don't skip bits!" How was I to know that wasn't important?

    Rick: Well it wasn't important, alright? Shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. "Crop rotation in the 14th century was _considerably_ more widespread...after..." God, I know this...don't tell me..."after 1172." [Neil is silent] Well, was I right?

    Neil: No, but I didn't think it was important.

    Rick: Well, what was it, then?

    Neil: You just said not to tell you.

    Rick: I bloody well did not!

    Neil: Yes you did! You said, "Don't tell me" just before you said, "1172."

    Rick: But I only meant for a minute!

    Neil: What, a minute from now, or a minute from then?

    Rick: Look, just shut up and tell me the answer!

    Neil: Shut up AND tell you the answer?

    Rick: JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER!

    Neil: John.

    Rick: Thank you..."John"?

    Neil: Yeah, "John" is the answer.

    Rick: "Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more widespread after John?"

    Neil: "...Lloyd invented the patent crop rotator."

    Rick: Oh, yes, I knew it, I bloody knew it!

    Neil: You didn't, you didn't, you said "1172"! That's not a bit like "John".

    Rick: [hysterical] You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons of work for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and loads, loads and loads... [he starts making a mess of Neil's papers]

    Neil: Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!

    Rick: ...loads and loads, loads and loads...

    Nuance

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