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RE: Re: Lame? Stupid? Newbie?

by nuance (Hermit)
on Aug 04, 2000 at 14:35 UTC ( #26162=note: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??


in reply to Re: Lame? Stupid? Newbie?
in thread Lame? Stupid? Newbie?

What shut up and ask?

Reminds me of a scene from the young ones - bambi - when Neill is testing Rick on history on their way to university challenge.

Neil: Oh, I wish we'd missed the train after all now. I'm just not going to be able to answer anything, I just know it.

Rick: Oh, come off it, Neil, you little swotty-pants. Just look at you, swotting away for teacher like a total spazmo. You're just an utter creep, really, aren't you? You've done loads and loads of work on it and I haven't done anything, nothing at all. Go on, test me. Go on, test me!

Neil: You just said you hadn't done anything.

Rick: Don't be clever, just take the book. [Rick throws his notebook at Neil]

Neil: Alright, but verbatim regurgitation is against my principles.

Rick: I'm asking you to test me on it, not throw up on it! Right, do it properly and don't skip bits.

Neil: [reading the title of the notebook] "O-Level History Notes"?

Rick: Yes, bit of pretty bloody billiant luck, eh? We're doing exactly the same period as I did for O-Level!

Neil: [Reading from the notebook] "Prick is a wonker. Signed, the rest of the class."

Rick: Ah, yes, now, that was a sort of "in joke" that we had in my form. Actually, I was incredibly popular and everyone thought I was great.

Neil: "...I agree with the rest of the class. Signed, Teacher."

Rick: Just test me on the stuff, will you? [Indicating a different page] There!

Neil: Alright, alright, don't get uncool and heavy. "Crop rotation in the 14th century..."

Rick: Right. [reciting] "Crop rotation in the 14th century was much more widespread..."

Neil: "Considerably".

Rick: What?

Neil: It's "considerably more widespread", not "much more".

Rick: Well?

Neil: Well, you said, "do it properly."

Rick: Well, not that much, you stupid bloody hippie!

Neil: You said, "do it properly and don't skip bits!" How was I to know that wasn't important?

Rick: Well it wasn't important, alright? Shall we just get on and stop wasting time like this? Right. "Crop rotation in the 14th century was _considerably_ more widespread...after..." God, I know this...don't tell me..."after 1172." [Neil is silent] Well, was I right?

Neil: No, but I didn't think it was important.

Rick: Well, what was it, then?

Neil: You just said not to tell you.

Rick: I bloody well did not!

Neil: Yes you did! You said, "Don't tell me" just before you said, "1172."

Rick: But I only meant for a minute!

Neil: What, a minute from now, or a minute from then?

Rick: Look, just shut up and tell me the answer!

Neil: Shut up AND tell you the answer?

Rick: JUST TELL ME THE ANSWER!

Neil: John.

Rick: Thank you..."John"?

Neil: Yeah, "John" is the answer.

Rick: "Crop rotation in the 14th century was considerably more widespread after John?"

Neil: "...Lloyd invented the patent crop rotator."

Rick: Oh, yes, I knew it, I bloody knew it!

Neil: You didn't, you didn't, you said "1172"! That's not a bit like "John".

Rick: [hysterical] You spiteful bastard, Neil! Just because you've done loads and loads of work for this, just because you're a creepy little swot you've done about 15 million tons of work for this, like a girl, and I'm so hard and street and cool that I've done absolutely bugger all, and you've done loads, look at it, loads and loads, loads and loads... [he starts making a mess of Neil's papers]

Neil: Stop it, Rick! It's only University Challenge, Rick, it's only University Challenge!

Rick: ...loads and loads, loads and loads...

Nuance

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