99 Bottles of Beer take two

[Dylan]

The following code runs under strict and warnings, and prints "99 bottles of beer on the wall", etc. It's slow at first, but employs a caching system... It is a (better|worse) version of an earlier obfu of mine...

#/usr/bin/perl
$a=100;XK:(--$a>1)&&($::m=($::m||sub {p($a,pack('c*',
0x62,0x6F,0x74,0x74,0x6C,0x65,0x73),w(0x18B),w(0x9717)
,w(0x193),w(0x35A4),w(0x62EFF),chr(0x2C));sub l{eval
w(11292).w(383).q{(pack("c",0xA))}};p($a,pack('c*',0x62,
0x6F,0x74,0x74,0x6C,0x65,0x73),w(0x18B),w(0x9717),chr(
0x2C));p((w(0x560E6)),w(0x290C),w(0x13C9F).chr(0x2C),w
(0x44F24),w(0xFD),join('',w(0x486),w(0x38E3)),chr(0x2C))
;sub p {eval w(11292).w(383).q{(join(pack("c",0x20),
"\u$_[0]",@_[1..($#_-1)]).$_[-1].pack("c",0xA))}};p($a
-1,($a-1)==1?chr(0x62).chr(0x6F).chr(0x74).chr(0x74).chr
(0x6C).chr(0x65):pack('c*',0x62,0x6F,0x74,0x74,0x6C,0x65,
0x73),w(0x18B),w(0x9717),w(0x193),w(0x35A4),w(0x62EFF),chr
(0x2E));eval w(11292).w(383).q{(pack("c",0xA))};goto XK;})
)->();%::qw=qw::;sub w {($::qw{$_[0]})&&(return$::qw{$_[0]
});$b=$_[0];$_=chr(97);{if($b-->0){$_++;redo;}};$::qw{$_[
0]}=$_;}p(1,chr(0x62).chr(0x6F).chr(0x74).chr(0x74).chr(
0x6C).chr(0x65),w(0x18B),w(0x9717),w(0x193),w(0x35A4),w(
0x62EFF),chr(0x2C));p(1,chr(0x62).chr(0x6F).chr(0x74).chr(
0x74).chr(0x6C).chr(0x65),w(0x18B),w(0x9717),chr(0x2C));p((
w(0x560E6)),w(0x290C),w(0x13C9F).chr(0x2C),w(0x44F24),w(0xFD)
,join('',w(0x486),w(0x38E3)),chr(0x2C));p((w(0x17A)),w(
0x3A5FC),pack('c*',0x62,0x6F,0x74,0x74,0x6C,0x65,0x73),w(
0x18B),w(0x9717),w(0x193),w(0x35A4),w(0x62EFF),chr(0x2E));

[NetWallah]

It runs in under 2 seconds on my Win XP 700 Mhz machine, which is plenty fast (++).

Now -- would'nt it be nice if it could use a text-to-speech engine, and actually RECITE the verse ?