Please excuse an off-topic post... There are definitely some parallels between programming and parenting, but I'm too frazzled to articulate them at the moment, so you're stuck with low comedy. -Simon


Alexander Jasper - Child Process Release Notes


  > perl -l -e 'print fork ? "Child process started!" \
  ?                        : "$0 ($$) " . localtime($^T)'
  Child process started!
  Alexander Jasper (60917) Sun Jan 11 6:27:00 2004


Long-time Perl programmers and members SimonM and Piglet are pleased to announce the release of their first child process.

Alexander Jasper was detached from his seedbed development environment on Sunday morning, January 11. Initial process size was 20 inches, massing 6 lbs 14 oz.

He will be deployed in the New York City area for general operations as well as ongoing upgrades and enhancements.


Zero day snapshot:


Guided by the principle of "release early, release often," this child process has been made public while still in an early beta state. Please note that the current functionality should not be considered to be fully representative of future versions of the product.

The user interface remains rudimentary, although this is expected to be upgraded some time next quarter. You may also observe significant resource consumption and poorly formatted output.


Future updates and additional snapshots will be posted to


Proud parents, M. Simon Cavalletto and E.J. Piglet Evans.

Source genome may be Copyright 2003 or 2004, subject to legal interpretation and future legislation.

Please do not redistribute our child. Derivative works may be available under a poetic license.

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: First Child Process
by Coruscate (Sexton) on Jan 30, 2004 at 19:41 UTC

    Congrats on your first child process. I hope you put some good signal handlers in place :)

Re: First Child Process
by japhy (Canon) on Jan 30, 2004 at 20:08 UTC
    Just how often do you plan to be releasing? Is Piglet aware of this? ;)


    And, pedantically, because I can't help it, pounds aren't a measure of mass, but weight.

    Jeff[japhy]Pinyan: Perl, regex, and perl hacker, who'd like a job (NYC-area)
    s++=END;++y(;-P)}y js++=;shajsj<++y(p-q)}?print:??;

Re: First Child Process
by Sol-Invictus (Scribe) on Jan 31, 2004 at 10:10 UTC
    congratulations, and what I love about this site is the depth of new information enabling us to better describe the world around us in perl, so now I can tell my friends and colleagues that children are a result of parents forking :).
Re: First Child Process
by hthief (Initiate) on Feb 08, 2004 at 03:46 UTC
    Congrats. I am a little over a month behind you. Have you slept yet?
      Have you slept yet?

      Sure -- newborns sleep all the time... It's just that they tend to wake up again every couple of hours.

      I find that three blocks of 2-3 hours each sort of suffices, although I do often find myself going through the rest of the day somewhat bleary-eyed...

      Try to sleep when the baby sleeps, and trade shifts with your partner or support person -- and good luck!

Re: First Child Process
by z0mbi3 (Initiate) on Jan 30, 2004 at 23:00 UTC
    Congrats dude