Contrary to what some may tell you, your XP is important. "How important is it?", you may ask. Try on par with personal hygiene, a 6 figure income, and a desirous member of whatever sex you prefer on your arm. That's right, we're talking *serious* importance here. Overclocking case-modding "I've got neon!" personal-RAID-5-array stuff. If you're not concerned about your XP, you're either dead, or, well... dead.

Now that we've got that established, Twitching Monks Software Productions is proud to introduce the latest member in it's popular line of XP whoring tools, XPFixation.

XPFixation is a Windows (yes, Windows. You Linux users can just punch out right now, and don't bother with the 'chute until you hit the ground. This is Windows. Pure flag-waving, apple pie and baseball hometown parade Bill-Gates-Rocks! Windows "I ♥ BSoD" type software*) tool tray icon that monitors XP changes, and upon an XP change (may they ever only be positive, unless your name is BUU), changes the icon, plays a WAV file (of your choice, no less. Windows is about choices, you know), puts it in a 10 entry history list, and should you hover your most excellent MS optical mouse over the icon, displays a tool tip showing the XP value, the amount it changed, and the time and date.

"Why in the h311 would I want something like this on my machine?" is a frequently asked (and ignored) question. Simple. You may have a Windows machine without Perl (...). You may have to use a Windows machine at the office, and not have access to your server at home running xluke_repwalker.pl. Should that be the case, XPFixation will let you keep a real-time eye on your XP. Because XP *is* important (see paragraph 1). Or maybe you just don't have enough icons in your tool tray, and you need something to fill up space. I dunno.

XPFixation is to XP what MS Office is to document processing. If it doesn't do it, you don't *need* to do it (well, unless we add it to a future version. TMSP tries to think of everything, but when you've only got 6 brain cells left... You get the idea). Icons, sounds, tool tips, configuration menus... Even an About box! And all for free! All written in glorious purportedly bug-free pure Win32API C code, like Dog and nature intended. None of this MFC/STL/ATL bloatware here (small footprint. Less than 256MB RAM and 10GB disk space required. Should run on any 2Ghz or faster Pentium IV).

"Jeez, this product sounds great! Where to I get it!?". Right here, or http://tinymicros.com/xpfixation, if you like your links spelled out for you. Installation instructions are on this page, and so simple even <insert inept monk nick here> could install it.

XPFixation is known to run on WinXP, Win2K, and Win95. If someone reports that it runs correctly on NT4, Win98, and WinME correctly, those will be added to the list of tested platforms.

TMSP's line of XP whoring tools also include xluke_repwalker.pl, xstatswhore.pl, Stats Whoring - The VXML Way, and The Stats Pages.

(This program is not available in the code section because binary uploads are not supported. Source will be available soon. Blame ar0n for it being in CUFP, it was his idea.)

* TMSP runs Linux, Debian, FreeBSD, Mac OS X, Windows and CP/M, and is fully non-OS-bigot compliant under The Uniform OS Operating Guide, Section 8, Paragraph 1, "Anyone who thinks OS <Insert OS Here> sucks has no idea what they're talking about, and is an un-informed stupid-head. Excepting VMS, of course."

--Chris