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Do you know those monkquips that appear on the top of every perlmonks page? Like „Perl sensitive sunglasses”. I really like these quips, because they really give a feeling to what this monastery is like.

The quip on each page is chosen randomly from about a dozen quips. This set of quips has been virtually unchanged for years now, they all date back to the dawn of the monastery, yet they still seem relevant. I would, however, like a bit of more change, so I think it's time to add a few new quips.

I'd hereby like to ask you all to suggest new quips that you think are suitable to appear there. Also please state your opinion about quips others have suggested. The quips should be short and definitely not offensive to anyone. The decision on what quips get shown is ultimately up to the gods of course, but I think they need your creativity for finding good ones.

To boot, let me give a few possibilities. These are not really good, so I hope you'll suggest much better ones.

  • Perl monk, perl wisdom.
  • Make it (1) work, (2) right, (3) fast.
  • Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
  • Performance is overrated.
  • Security before utility.
  • Build with security in mind at the start, you can't add security later.
  • Read the fine manual.
  • Everybody stand back. I know regular expressions. (From xkcd://208.)
  • Elegant weapons for a more civilized age. (From xkcd://297.)
  • The language from which the gods wrought the universe. (From xkcd://224. See also Re^2: poll ideas quest 2010 - SciFi authors.)
  • Those are my principles, and if you don't like them, well… I have others. (This quote is attributed to the comedian Groucho Marx but it applies to perl well.)
  • Training wheels with the bicycle. (This might be offensive to PHP programmers a bit, so it's not really good)
  • Yes, even you can use CPAN (Title of the famous tutorial Yes, even you can use CPAN)

Maybe we could use some quotes from sci-fi classics, but I read most of those in translation so I don't know any English quotes.

Update: just let me note that unlike these quips, there have been lots of new XP quips and silence quips added in the course of years (you see the former in the XP nodelet when your XP changes, and the latter in the chatterbox when nobody speaks).

Update: I'll add any more possible quips that come into my mind later below.

  • Don't reinvent the wheel.
  • Here be dragons. (The monkpics refer to particular monks and show particular animals, so I think this might be acceptable too. By the way, it would be nice to have new monkpics as well, in fact there was already one attempt to get new ones, but it didn't work.)
  • We make our new users chop carrots. (Reference to Life at the Monastery. Chapter 1. Actually it might be better to make something like this into an XP quip paired with the infromation that we put Level 26: Saint to dishwashing duty.) (Update 2009-11-29: dishwashing duty is now mentioned in a new XP quip)
  • Realm of paco.
  • Welcome to the monastery. (Simple and effective.)
  • For dynamic types.
  • Seeking pearls of wisdom.
  • Serving the community since 2000.
  • Some people, when confronted with a problem, think “I know, I'll use regular expressions.” Now they have two problems. (Big thanks to Corion for pointing me to this entry in Jeffrey Friedl's blog which gives the exact quote and researces its source.)
  • A cat's entitled to expect these evidences of respect (from the song How to address a cat in the Cats musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber)
  • Explain ideas to a teddy bear.
  • Make a minimal example that reproduces the bug. (The unspoken half is that most of the time this will already solve the problem.)
  • My opinions my change, but not the fact that I'm right. (one of moritz's favourite quotes)
  • Only wimps use tape backup: _real_ men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it – Linus Torvalds (original source)
  • Debugging is twice as hard as writing a program. (from Brian Kernighan)
  • Don't try to code your way out of a problem, start again. (from Programmers Nostrums)

Update 2010-10-04: see also and all is quiet in the Chatterbox, but it doesn't have to be.

Update 2011-01-05: maybe some of Random thoughts on programming could be reused too? I like these in particular:

  • Plan ahead.
  • That which is not automated does not reliably happen.
  • Have fun!

Update 2011-04-05: the spoiler block below will contain a full list of all the proposed quotes (no matter where they come from), in case me or someone else wants to set up a multiple-choice poll on what to add.

Update 2011-11-07: some new quips, some of which are listed in this thread, were actually installed to the site in 2010.

In reply to I want more monkquips by ambrus

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