The best way to get food in my mouth is...

[tye ]

Knife

 5/1%

Spoon

 30/4%

Fork

 107/16%

Spork

 41/6%

Chop sticks

 87/13%

Tortilla

 52/8%

A straw

 7/1%

The bowl

 5/1%

My tongue

 6/1%

My fingers

 89/13%

Someone else's fingers

 128/19%

Ballistics

 40/6%

Lego mindstorm

 55/8%

P38 (whichever)

 22/3%

674 total votes

[TVSET]

Eating with chopsticks provides me with the most satisfaction, since it also implies that:
• I am not working.
• I am not at home.
• I am drunk.
• My beautiful wife is still with me and she still loves me.
• There are probably few friends around.
• I can afford something better than a hamburger and salad.
• Tomorrow is probably not a working day. :)

[soon_j]

True. I feel like a Japanese when I use chopsticks. And I feel good to think that I can afford to eat as much salmons or spicy tunas rather plain simple fries or tacos.

[flyingmoose]

Those people voting spork need a talking too. This will only increase world-wide spork proliferation. Sporkage everywhere! Imagine all the horror. Eventually there may be spork silverware in your own home! Face it folks, it's nearly as useless as those little flexible plastic knives. They cut toast, but that's about it.

Besides, I insist, it's not a spork, it's a foon...

FWIW, I was the first to vote P38. Which P38? The one where Larry explains regular expressions? Or the can opener? Heaven knows you can't eat using a can-opener. It sure beats the straw though.

Other good poll options would be "magically turn it into a pizza" or "increase proximity to beer source". I still want to see this Mindstorm spork (no! foon!) however.

[rdm]

If the US P38 food can access device is anything like the Australian Army tin-opener, then it has an integrated spoonife section at the end opposite the opener blade.
-R

[tbone1]

Does anyone else think of The Swedish Chef when they see the word "spork"? Probably just me.

[belg4mit]

No, this is a foon

[Paulster2]

Studies have shown that while the knife/fork/spoon combo is probably the most widely used, high speed full facial auto injection is by far the prefered methodry.

[tbone1]

PS: A forgotten mode of food-to-mouth transport might be the shovel.

This has not been forgotten; go to a state fair or a NASCAR race and take a look around, if you dare.

[lemming]

[csuhockey3]

Else if one has Guinness, pour on a plate and eat with a fork. Delicious!

[hardburn]

Ask any Mideval peasant. A dead cow launched from a Trebuchet is not a very good way to get food. Run away!

[flyingmoose]

Python references on a Perl forum? I should turn you into a newt.

[bageler]

he'll get better...

[rdm]

Given that >60% of my diet is asian in origin, chopstick proficiency is a given.
That aside, the image of using a P38 (figher) as an ingestion aide is surreal, to say the least!
-R

[simon.proctor]

Funnel - for that liquid meal.

[kutsu]

I voted Tortilla, but really any type of bread will do. MMM...Sandwich :)

[ccarden]

I'm not Indian, but chapati, roti, nan, or rotli would have been a good item, too. I'll bet you would have gotten a high percentage for that one.

And, not forgetting any breath-arians out there, breathing is a good answer, as well. Breath-arian: that's one step above vegetarian and fructarian.

[arrow]

Come on, nothing beats high-speed food!

[Anonymous Monk]

Whatever happend to the choice of "foot"?

[Chmrr]

I like sporks, personally. They don't have to be made of plastic, y'know. Though a spork with broken off tines makes for a good knife. Or would that be a sporife?

[Tux]

I miss a vital entry: someone else's mouth. Olives is a great starting practice, but just see that as starters: strawberries, icecream, peas, ....
Enjoy, Have FUN! H.Merijn

[karisma]

well I think it's not a bad method...as long as things aren't passed after they've been chewed. I read that and instantly thought of chewed peas...ew!

[Anomynous Monk]

Wouldn't this be a more appropriate poll for Dead Turkey day? (Yes, I know; a US-only holiday about as non-PC as it gets.)

[belg4mit]

Spork! after having created a home-made metal spork by transferring the venerable Taco Bell spork to a spoon with a hacksaw I managed to locate this.

[Anonymous Monk]

Someone else's tongue?

{grin}

[PERLscienceman]

Matter Energy Transport: Beam It In! :)

[Anonymous Monk]

Slurp is down like ramen noodles!

[Anonymous Monk]

Telekinesis. :)

[shenme]

Actually, I'd've liked to answer "Concentrate!"

My (first) programming injury was brought on by a fork, inserted in mouth, and not successfully de-inserted before attempting to chew.   I was thinking so hard about the current mindbender (OS deadlocks) that I'd just not enough cycles left to successfully eat at the same time.

For some reason, no one knowing me seems surprised when I tell them about it.

[submersible_toaster]

umm, quickly?! am I alone?.

[markmoon]

Obviously the Spork should be the right answer here on Perlmonks... a tool that can adapt to the task at hand. Plus it's just fun to say... "Spork". Try it... see, I told you.

[blue_cowdawg]

That depends on what it is really...

Utensil	Food Item(s)
Fingers	Corn on the cob chicken fingers hot wings Barbeque in general Pizza
Hands	Hamburgers Hot Dogs (with or without bun) Sandwiches in general Almost anything if I'm in a real hurry!
Chopstics	Sushi/Sashimi Rice Asian food in general
Knife and Fork	Steak Pasta and Sauce Breakfast
10 oz tumbler	Whiskey in general Bourbon
Two Straws	A keg of beer

That's just a few I can think of right now...

[P0w3rK!d]

The spork is #1

The History of the SPORK
The Spork FAQ

[Anonymous Monk]

there is no spoon...or fork, or chopsticks, etc etc...

eric