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by SirBones (Friar)
on Jun 09, 2004 at 18:34 UTC ( #362844=user: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

Yes, well, that's the sort of blinkered, philistine pig ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome, spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement! You whining, hypocritical toadies, with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding Masonic secret handshakes! You wouldn't let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards?!! Well I WOULDN'T BECOME A FREEMASON NOW IF YOU WENT DOWN ON YOUR LOUSY, STINKING KNEES AND BEGGED ME!!!

To the Gas Company

Hartford, February 12, 1891.

Dear Sirs:

Some day you will move me almost to the verge of irritation by your chuckle-headed Goddamned fashion of shutting your Goddamned gas off without giving any notice to your Goddamned parishioners. Several times you have come within an ace of smothering half of this household in their beds and blowing up the other half by this idiotic, not to say criminal, custom of yours. And it has happened again today. Haven’t you a telephone?


S L Clemens (Mark Twain)

Dream Song #4

Filling her compact & delicious body
with chicken paprika, she glanced at me
Fainting with interest, I hungered back
and only the fact of her husband & four other people
kept me from springing on her

or falling at her little feet and crying
"You are the hottest one for years of night
Henry`s dazed eyes
have enjoyed, Brilliance." I advanced upon
(despairing) my spumoni.  --Sir Bones: is stuffed,
de world, wif feeding girls.

--Black hair, complexion Latin, jewelled eyes
downcast...The slob beside her feasts...What wonders is
she sitting on, over there?
The restaurant buzzes. She might as well be on Mars.
Where did it all go wrong? There ought to be a law against Henry.
--Mr. Bones: there is.

Dream Song #45

He stared at ruin. Ruin stared straight back.
He thought they was old friends. He felt on the stair
where her papa found them bare
they became familiar. When the papers were lost
rich with pals' secrets, he thought he had the knack
of ruin. Their paths crossed

and once they crossed in jail; they crossed in bed;
and over an unsigned letter their eyes met,
and in an Asian city
directionless & lurchy at two & three,
or trembling to a telephone's fresh threat,
and when some wired his head

to reach a wrong opinion, 'Epileptic'.
But he noted now that: they were not old friends.
He did not know this one.
This one was a stranger, come to make amends
for all the imposters, and to make it stick.
Henry nodded, un-.

(John Berryman)

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
                                    i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

(ee cummings)

Get one before it's too late
MIT Paper

Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out…and help to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he has no quarrel. …And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands and works for `the universal brotherhood of man` — with his mouth.`
--Mark Twain

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up. They have no holidays.
--Henny Youngman

If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of nature...they don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!
--Ren & Stimpy

And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, 'O Lord, bless this Thy hand grenade that, with it, Thou mayest blow Thine enemies to tiny bits in Thy mercy.'

I don`t believe what I`m seeing. Where you been all your lives? An orgy? Listening to Mick Jagger music and bad mouthing your country I bet.
--"An Officer and a Gentleman"

The wages of sin is Community College.

There are only 10 kinds of people in the world: Those who can count in binary, and those who can't.

Exclamation marks should be used sparingly, and then only when the speaker has recently been disemboweled.

C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do it blows your whole leg off.
--Bjarne Stroustrup

This bounty hunter is my kind of scum: Fearless and inventive.
--J.T. Hutt

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
--George Carlin

Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!
--T-shirt owned by my darling daughter (brilliant dyslexic)

There is no 'I' in 'team.' But then there is no 'I' in 'useless smug colleague,' either. And there are four in 'platitude-quoting idiot.' Go figure.

Of course there are stupid questions.

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