•Re^5: A modest request of Merlyn

[merlyn]

And again, even in those nodes, I'm attacking recent actions, not the person themselves.

Maybe I haven't explained my fundamental philosophy well enough yet. Maybe it deserves a whole thread of its own. {grin}

I believe that people are fundamentally good, and have unbroken processing skills, but are occasionally operating on bad information, and thus from time to time generate actions that are damaging to themselves or others.

Thus, it is my job when I see it to point out that an action is damaging, generally because a person (being fundamentally good) will want to know that what they are doing is damaging themselves and others. In every instance of that response, I'm deeply convinced that it's not about the person, but about their recent actions, and that they are simply misinformed.

Look at it this way: if I thought the person was fundamentally bad, why would I bother trying to help them see the error of their ways? That would be wasted breath. In fact, I believe that people that gossip behind other's backs are more like that, with a belief that the people whom they gossip about are fundamentally bad. If not, they would confront the person with their information instead. But I digress.

In every instance you have listed, including your direct interaction with me, I'm clear that you're a good person, with good processing ability, and that for the moment you are probably merely misinformed. Hence, I interact with you, knowing that about you, and believing that your inherent goodness will recognize that my feedback isn't about you, but about your actions.

That's my intent. Always. Hence my disclaimer, which is specifically about code because I think most people can get that, is also about the person, which takes someone a little more conscious to get, unfortunately.

Now, that is not to say that there aren't people that I've seen a pattern of consistent damaging behaviors, and I may spend less time trying to give feedback. But even then, deep down, I believe they can be informed, eventually. There are no bad people. Only recently damaging actions.