Well, if you're holding back on all three alternatives because they sound
scary, I don't think we can offer much help. Fear is an emotion, and this is a technical site. I know what I would do, (and that wouldn't be option 4,
switch to a different Linux distro), but I doubt that would make the alternatives sound less scary.
So, I don't really know what to do about your problem, other than perhaps actually read the spam you get - there might be some pills available on the internet that will take away fear.