holy grail - scene 4

[decnartne]

bear with me as 1.) this isn't really poetry, and 2.) my perl skill level has yet to grant me knowledge of all ways to ab^H^Huse perl

the CB has been full of Monty Python humor today, so i thought i'd add my own small contribution. i hope you enjoy...

#!/usr/bin/perl 

###  Script used from:
###  http://www.muffet.com/jokes/comedians/python/holy_grail.html

$Movie = "Monty Python and the Holy Grail";
$Scene = 4;

    $action[battle,sounds]                                            
+         ;
    $action[BlackKnight, defeats, worthless-knight]                   
+         ;

ARTHUR: 
                $you{ fight => 1, strength => 'many men' }            
+         ;
                $me{ name => 'Arthur', title => 'King of the Britons' 
+}        ;
                sleep 2;
                join $me, Camelot, seek land, knights && bravest && fi
+nest,here;
                sleep 2;
                push @worthy, $you; $answer = join $me, $you          
+         ;
                sleep 2;
                $me{ demeanor => 'sad'}; so eq it; come, Patsy        
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   None, shall, pass                                     
+         ;


ARTHUR:         ?What?                                                
+         ;

    
BLACK_KNIGHT:   None, shall, pass                                     
+         ;


ARTHUR:          (!quarrel) && $you{ good => Sir => knight }, 
                    but, $me{ desire => 'cross bridge' }              
+         ;


BLACK_KNIGHT:   Cross && die                                          
+         ;

ARTHUR:         $me{'title'} && command && "stand aside"              
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   foreach (@man) { !move; }

ARTHUR:         So eq it                                              
+         ;

    $action[hah]                                                      
+         ;
    $action[parry,thrust]                                             
+         ;
    $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,left,arm,""),chop()]          
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Now, stand, aside, push @worthy, $you                 
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   chop() eq scratch                                     
+         ;          

ARTHUR:         ?Scratch?, arm eq off                                 
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   !(arm eq off)                                         
+         ;

ARTHUR:         ?Well, what eq that, then?                            
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   arm eq off < worse                                    
+         ;

ARTHUR:         You, liar                                             
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Come-on, you eq pansy                                 
+         ;

    $action[hah]                                                      
+         ;
    $action[parry,thrust]                                             
+         ;
    $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,right,arm,""),chop()]         
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Victory eq mine                                       
+         ;

    $action[kneeling]                                                 
+         ;

                Lord, $thank =~ /thy merc-/                           
+         ;

    while (Arthur eq kneeling) {
        $action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => head}), kick ] 
+         ;
    }

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Come-on, then                                         
+         ;
    
ARTHUR:         ?What?                                                
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Have, at, you                                         
+         ;

ARTHUR:         $you{ brave => Sir => knight }, but, fight eq mine    
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   ?Oh, had enough, eh?                                  
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Look, you && stupid && bastard, (!arms)               
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   (arms)                                                
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Look                                                  
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Just eq fleshwound                                    
+         ;

    $action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => chest}), headbutt ]
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Look, stop, that                                      
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Chicken, Chicken                                      
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Look, $your{leg} eq mine, Right                       
+         ;

    $action[wop]                                                      
+         ;
    # the script omits which leg is cut off                           
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Right; for ($that) { kill(you) }                      
+         ;

ARTHUR:         You'll, ?What?                                        
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Come, here                                            
+         ;

ARTHUR:         ?What are you going to do?, ?bleed on me?             
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   I eq invincible                                       
+         ;

ARTHUR:         You eq loony                                          
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   while(1) { $triumph++ } Have, at, you                 
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Come-on, then                                         
+         ;

    $action[wop]                                                      
+         ;
    $action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,other,leg,""),chop()]         
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   All, right; it eq draw                                
+         ;

ARTHUR:         Come, Patsy                                           
+         ;

BLACK_KNIGHT:   Oh, oh, I, see; $you{ action => running}, then, 
                    you && yellow && bastards                         
+         ;

                Come, back && select(whats,coming,to,you)             
+         ;

                I'll, chomp($your_legs)                               
+         ;

decnartne ~ entranced