Do we really need this sort of stuff at PerlMonks?
Yes. Merlyn makes a valid point: this is an odd thing to want to do (certainly I've never encountered a use for it). It seems to be a means to some end, rather than an end in itself, so it's reasonable to ask what that end is; there's a good chance that other people have already achieved that in some other way, which perhaps would be of more benefit to the original poster.
Actually, it isn't only reasonable of Merlyn to ask this, but it's helpful for him to do so. Nobody else had asked. And if it turns out there is a better approach for this task, the original poster benefits. Showing him a 'better' way of coding a duff approach only re-inforces that approach.
What PerlMonks needs is more people taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture.