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My Story

by damian1301 (Curate)
on Jan 14, 2001 at 07:22 UTC ( #51684=poem: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

I know there are some bad grammatical (Perl And English) errors in here. Don't hold it against me :-)
$I = "Damian"; $fun="happiness"; $I &have(!$fun); sub have{ print "Because $I choose ! to"; $I delete($time) && sleep inside; use computer qw/all day write perl/ && enjoy it; $I unlink(friends) until $friends = 0; $I accept criticism, called(dork, computer_nerd..); } $I need(a_life, friends) foreach $day $I exists; # Will you be my friend :-)
Thanx All. Tell me what you think!

Wanna be perl hacker.
Dave AKA damian

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: My Story
by Petruchio (Vicar) on Jan 14, 2001 at 21:03 UTC
    Here are some methods for you.

    sub birthday{ my $self = shift; $self->{age}++; if ($self->{age} == 12){ $self->{old_happiness} = $self->{happiness}; $self->{happiness} = -1; if (UNIVERSAL::isa($self,'GEEK')){ $self->{happiness} -= 3; } } if ($self->{age} == 19){ $self->{happiness} = $self->{old_happiness}; if (UNIVERSAL::isa($self,'GEEK')){ $self->{happiness} += 3; } } if ($self->{age} > 70){ $self->yell(@{$kids{damned}}); $self->complain(@{$politicians{damned}}); } } sub experiment{ my $self = shift; my $idea = shift; my $result; unless ($self->{tried}->{$idea}){ $result = $idea->($self); print "Cool, I didn't die\n"; $self->{happiness}++; if ($result > 0){ print "$idea produced positive result.\n"; $self->{things_to_do_again}->{$idea} = 'YES'; $self->{happiness}++; } else{ print "Note to self: what the hell were you thinking "; print "when you decided to $idea?\n"; $self->{things_to_do_again}->{$idea} = 'NO'; } $self->{tried}->{$idea}++; } return $result; }

    Note that trying new things is condusive to happiness, and that you can't do this unless you use Tie::RefHash; This is where most non-geeks go wrong. Truth is, most of them would be miserable if sex() weren't considerably simpler to implement.

    Also note that calling experiment() with the wrong parameters can forestall further calls to birthday(). It is suggested, therefore, that you use caution;

Re: My Story
by Anonymous Monk on Jan 19, 2001 at 21:02 UTC
    $I unlink(friends) until $friends = 0;
    # This is prolly the funiest line in there. My fav
      Heh, thanx. This isn't really true. I have alot of friends but I just don't hang out with them that much anymore. Well glad you liked it. Later

      Wanna be perl hacker.
      Dave AKA damian

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