Who would win in a swordfight?

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by grinder (Bishop) on Jul 12, 2006 at 06:19 UTC
Why, Hiro Protagonist, of course. • another intruder with the mooring in the heart of the Perl	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by japhy (Canon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 10:50 UTC
You! Over here. ++ "Stupid name." "But you'll never forget it." Jeff `japhy` Pinyan, P.L., P.M., P.O.D, X.S.: Perl, regex, and `perl` hacker How can we ever be the sold short or the cheated, we who for every service have long ago been overpaid? ~~ Meister Eckhart	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by socketdave (Curate) on Jul 18, 2006 at 19:45 UTC
No doubt... Do the other candidates have a mean pizza deliverator to drive to the showdown?	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2006 at 03:26 UTC
__ __ __ __ ___ _______ \| \| \| \| \| \| \| \|/ / \| ____\| \| \| \| \| \| \| \| ' / \| \|__ \| \| \| \| \| \| \| < \| __\| \| `----.\| `--' \| \| . \ \| \|____ \|_______\| \______/ \|__\|\__\ \|_______\| _______. __ ___ ____ ____ ____ __ ____ ___ __ __ ___ _______ .______ / \|\| \|/ / \ \ / / \ \ / \ / / / \ \| \| \| \|/ / \| ____\|\| _ \ \| (----`\| ' / \ \/ / \ \/ \/ / / ^ \ \| \| \| ' / \| \|__ \| \|_) \| \ \ \| < \_ _/ \ / / /_\ \ \| \| \| < \| __\| \| / .----) \| \| . \ \| \| \ /\ / / _____ \ \| `----.\| . \ \| \|____ \| \|\ \----. \|_______/ \|__\|\__\ \|__\| \__/ \__/ /__/ \__\ \|_______\|\|__\|\__\ \|_______\|\| _\| `._____\|	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 15, 2006 at 10:02 UTC
Luke Skywalker cheats - he cuts everyone else's swords in half. James Bond, now he's a good sword fighter. (Anyone seen Die Another Day?	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by BrowserUk (Patriarch) on Jul 12, 2006 at 03:08 UTC
The person with the gun. Examine what is said, not who speaks -- Silence betokens consent -- Love the truth but pardon error. Lingua non convalesco, consenesco et abolesco. -- Rule 1 has a caveat! -- Who broke the cabal? "Science is about questioning the status quo. Questioning authority". In the absence of evidence, opinion is indistinguishable from prejudice.	[reply] [d/l]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by swampyankee (Parson) on Jul 14, 2006 at 17:09 UTC
Let's see...if this is before metal cartridges, the gunmen pulls out his muzzle-loading flintlock pistol, bites open the cartridge, primes the pan, rams home the bullet and remaining cartridge, finishes cocking your pistol, and shoots the swordsman... In the meantime, the swordsman has killed him, returned his sword to its scabbard, and taken his purse and gun. emc e^(π√−1) = −1	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 17, 2006 at 16:34 UTC
When discussing ranged weapons, it's all about the range. :-) Even to this day, a good martial artist can knock out a gunman before he can draw his gun -- at the right range. At the wrong range, about all you can do is sprint like crazy to get to the right range.... Robin Hood is either most or least likely to kill the others (aside from the fact he just generally makes friends with other "heroic" figures), depending on whether he's ambushing people from the trees at a distance, or on the ground fighting toe-to-toe with a sword (like the poll title suggests...)	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 18, 2006 at 13:11 UTC
cap'n'ball is before cartridges, and you can carry loaded	[reply]
Re^4: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 18, 2006 at 15:16 UTC
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by tbone1 (Monsignor) on Jul 12, 2006 at 12:35 UTC
My name is Juan Pablo Montoya. You killed my Formula 1 career. Prepare to die. -- tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub) And remember, if he succeeds, so what. - Chick McGee	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by johngg (Canon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 10:12 UTC
I wanted to vote for The Dread Pirate Roberts but had to settle for Inigo Montoya as second-best.	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by ptum (Priest) on Jul 13, 2006 at 15:32 UTC
I agree. The Man in Black, Dread Pirate Roberts, or Wesley (the one with eyes like the sea after a storm), should certainly have been on this list, since he defeated Inigo with the "I am not left-handed" trick (one of the oldest in the book). Clearly, his defeat of Fezzik and Vincini show that he would bring a lot more than mere swordsmanship to any contest. Of course, like Inigo, he is motivated by his desire for revenge on Humperdink and to be reunited with Buttercup ... lacking that motivation, I'm not sure he has it in him to defeat any of these blades -- he'd probably rather just ride off into the sunset or agree to serve as their valet. No good deed goes unpunished. -- (attributed to) Oscar Wilde	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by johngg (Canon) on Jul 13, 2006 at 22:49 UTC
... or go for a nice stroll in the Fire Swamp.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by McDarren (Abbot) on Jul 12, 2006 at 03:02 UTC
Edward Bulwer-Lytton :p	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by swampyankee (Parson) on Jul 19, 2006 at 18:43 UTC
But only on a Dark and Stormy Night! emc e^(π√−1) = −1	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by marto (Cardinal) on Jul 12, 2006 at 08:30 UTC
<joke> What not entry for: paco The Bride Zorro, the gay blade Captain Jack Sparrow </joke>	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by master_son (Acolyte) on Jul 13, 2006 at 13:28 UTC
<response>Zorro fights with a foil!</response>;) --------------------- Keep your concentration here and now where it belongs - Qui-Gon Jinn	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by BaldPenguin (Friar) on Jul 21, 2006 at 22:53 UTC
I would've voted for The Bride Don WHITEPAGES.COM \| INC Everything I've learned in life can be summed up in a small perl script!	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by HeatSeekerCannibal (Beadle) on Jul 20, 2006 at 22:16 UTC
GEEEEEE!!!!! People still remember Paco????? heatseekercannibal@hotmail.com	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by pajout (Curate) on Jul 12, 2006 at 08:52 UTC
It would be Zatoichi or Black Knight (with or without hands, does not matter), I guess... Update: Zatoichi (sightless or not, does not matter)	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by wolfger (Deacon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 14:48 UTC
Musashi, without a doubt. Conan has strength, but little skill. Musashi did not kill Inigo's father, and so would easily defeat the revenge-driven Spaniard. Yojimbo? I honestly don't know who that is. Robin Hood was tops with a bow, not a sword. Zorro is too wussy. Connor McLeod has near-invincibility going for him, but if Musashi knows how to kill him, he can do it. Leonardo would tell you, I'm sure, that he's a student of Musashi... not the master of him. -- Random Synapse Firing	[reply] [d/l]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by weierophinney (Pilgrim) on Jul 12, 2006 at 17:46 UTC
Regarding Yojimbo, Wikipedia is your friend. Most know the name from the classic Akira Kurasawa film, Yojimbo, which inspired later films such as "For a Fistful of Dollars" with Clint Eastwood and "Last Man Standing" with Bruce Willis (both of them were practically 1:1 recreations, just in different settings, and both credited the Kurosawa screenplay). The sword work in Yojimbo is some of the best ever filmed.	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by jeffa (Bishop) on Jul 12, 2006 at 20:10 UTC
And for some more ob-trivia, Toshiro Mifune, the actor who played the main character in Yojimbo also played Miyamoto Musashi in the Samurai Trilogy. (I voted for Musashi, FWIW.) jeffa L-LL-L--L-LL-L--L-LL-L-- -R--R-RR-R--R-RR-R--R-RR B--B--B--B--B--B--B--B-- H---H---H---H---H---H--- (the triplet paradiddle with high-hat)	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2006 at 21:44 UTC
you want to search for the full name, "Usagi Yojimbo". two different characters here.	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2006 at 20:02 UTC
Connor McLeod has near-invincibility going for him, but if Musashi knows how to kill him, he can do it. First of all, I doubt Connor would tell his opponent how to kill him. Part of his power lies in his secret: Connor is an ordinary looking guy who just happens not to die unless he's decapitated. That's just not the sort of thing Musashi has trained to expect when he designed his fighting style. Musashi will probably die before he figures it out. Remember, the Japanese swordmaster's philosophy: when you commit, put everything you have behind it until you win. Connor has literally centuries of training: he can fight in Musashi's league, and would cut Musashi in half once Japanese blademaster committed to an overwhelming attack that would have killed anyone but Connor. Even if he knows Connor's weakness, it won't be easy. From the Japanse sword techniques I've seen, no swordmaster, let alone Musashi, focused their training on a horizontal cut at head level: it's just too easy to block. Japanse swordwork emphasises cutting the skull in half, slicing the body diagonally to shatter the collarbone, cutting up the hands and tendons, etc. None of those work on Connor. Connor McLeod just has to hit Musashi anywhere, and Musashi will bleed until he dies. It won't take long. Musashi has to land powerful killing stroke at a target he isn't used to aiming at, against an opponent who's trained for centuries to block that very strike. Musashi's victory is anything but guaranteed. I say he'ld be sliced to ribbons.	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by runrig (Abbot) on Jul 12, 2006 at 23:03 UTC
Any (to a normal mortal) fatal blow to Connor will disable him long enough to deliver the (permanently) fatal blow. Update: If what AM below says is true, I'm probably confusing the movie with the TV show, where the immortals often temporarily "die."	[reply]
Re^4: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 13, 2006 at 19:55 UTC
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by wolfger (Deacon) on Jul 13, 2006 at 11:15 UTC
Well, my take on it is this: Winning the fight does not necessarily mean killing your opponent, and Connor McLeod is not immune to pain. Musashi could easily lay him open (not fatally, as it would be to a normal man, but fight-winning anyhow. Also, McLeod may have centuries of training, but he mostly trains to deliver and block decapitation shots. -- Random Synapse Firing	[reply] [d/l]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by bill_mcgonigle (Acolyte) on Jul 20, 2006 at 18:41 UTC
Don't forget, Connor McLeod has competed in an elimination-style competition system which basically serves to prove who the best swordfighter among the immortals on Earth is. Most of these immortals has had the chance to train with multiple human master swordsmen, so each of their aptitude is bound to be pretty high. Cheating aside, McLeod has more or less proven, by winning the contest, that he is the best swordsman on Earth.	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2006 at 19:46 UTC
Robin Hood was tops with a bow, not a sword. True. Friar Tuck fought him to a standstill with a sword. Any of the others would cut him in half, if he was stupid enough not to shoot them from ambush...	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by rdm (Hermit) on Jul 13, 2006 at 02:37 UTC
My take on the Robin hood thing: Robin jumps out at one of them, demands half of their possessions, and then spends the next 30 seconds realising that he is way out of his league. He then cries "Wait!" and determines he opponents identity, whereupon he claims some sort of spritual kinship, offers them a drink and meal down at the pub, and suckers them into his band. Rinse, and repeat. (cf Gambol Gold and Robin Hood, RH& Tuck, RH& Little John, etc...) -Reality might not get out of Beta today. (O.Timas, "Bot")	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Mago (Parson) on Jul 12, 2006 at 20:42 UTC
Black Mamba (Kill Bill) The Black Mamba gets into O-Ren�s current hangout, a club known as the House of Blue Leaves. She cuts off the arm of Sophie Fatale, O-Ren�s lawyer, and then proceeds to take on O-Ren�s henchmen, including O-Ren's personal bodyguard, the seventeen year-old, spike-and-ball-wielding girl named Gogo Yubari. Dispatching these subordinates, she is confronted by the bulk of O-Ren's army, the "Crazy 88." They all suffer grisly death or mutilation at the edge of her sword. Mago mago@rio.pm.org	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by stonecolddevin (Parson) on Jul 12, 2006 at 03:23 UTC
ohhh crap! i didn't even see inigo montoya...regardless, i think conan would just bash the shit out of everyone mercilessly :-D meh.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Moriarty (Abbot) on Jul 12, 2006 at 02:54 UTC
Leonardo definitely, he even has his own home grown armour. :)	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by gloryhack (Deacon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 03:01 UTC
There can be... only one!	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by wolfger (Deacon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 15:24 UTC
No non-fictional Europeans? What about Johannes Lichtenauer? -- Random Synapse Firing	[reply] [d/l]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? (ink) by tye (Sage) on Jul 12, 2006 at 15:35 UTC
Everyone knows that the penned ones are mightier with the sword. - tye	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by DrHyde (Prior) on Jul 13, 2006 at 10:56 UTC
I vote for Casanova, on the grounds that he was Really Good at Running Away.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by swampyankee (Parson) on Jul 12, 2006 at 17:51 UTC
I, too, am offended Cyrano is not present. Not only was he the finest swordsman of his day (possibly even in reality; there actually was a Cyrano de Bergerac) but he was also a brilliant raconteur, a great inventor, and a lover in the category of Don Juan. He was, of course, also legendary for his nose. Well, of course, a modern gun will beat a sword, but it was much more problematic back when modern guns were smoothbore muzzle loading flintlocks, which could not be kept loaded because black powder is hygroscopic and tends to misfire when wet. In other words, the chances are quite good that it would be sword vs club, not sword vs gun. Since Cyrano is not in the poll, I have to vote for Sr Montoya. Zorro, while quite foxy, never seemed to actually kill anybody, Robin Hood was almost certainly able to use a sword (most bowmen could; and RH was from the social class where ability to use a sword was expected), Conan was in the hack & slash school, and the samurai seemed to prefer the edge, but a kill is easier with a thrust than a slash. emc e^(π√−1) = −1	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by JediWizard (Deacon) on Jul 12, 2006 at 19:45 UTC
You fell victim to one of the classic blunders. The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia." But only slightly less well known is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line." They say that time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. —Andy Warhol	[reply] [d/l]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by gregor42 (Parson) on Jul 12, 2006 at 19:27 UTC
Many answers are possible, and yet only one answer is possible... The one who fights himself. The one who walks away from the fight. The one who lived on to teach others his skills. The one who actually existed. So the answer is obvious: Musashi-sama Wait! This isn't a Parachute, this is a Backpack!	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by spiritway (Vicar) on Jul 13, 2006 at 05:29 UTC
That would be my understanding. Musashi-yama was undefeated... Musashi got to be so good that he began fighting with sticks, oars, and other things, not even using his sword. Not sure how he'd decapitate Connor McLeod with a stick, though...	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 17, 2006 at 16:27 UTC
That would be my understanding. Musashi-yama was undefeated... As with all the legends listed above, it depends on which storyline you choose. :-) In one popular story, Musashi was defeated exactly once: by an unknown farmer who fought with a wooden staff. Musashi learned never to underestimate an opponent, and extended the lesson by deliberately fighting other swordmasters with weapons that they were unprepared to fight against; staves, wooden swords, oars.... one famous story has him knock a challenger unconcious with a wood sculpture after the foolish contender wouldn't leave Musashi alone to finish his woodcarving, and kept pestering him for a duel...	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jul 12, 2006 at 11:58 UTC
Well, for greatest swordsmen of all time, what about Sir Richard Burton or Cyrano de Bergerac?	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by arkturuz (Curate) on Jul 12, 2006 at 14:13 UTC
I swear, I haven't seen your post before I posted mine. :-)	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jul 13, 2006 at 11:34 UTC
Riverworld series?	[reply]
Re^4: Who would win in a swordfight? by arkturuz (Curate) on Jul 13, 2006 at 12:56 UTC
Re^5: Who would win in a swordfight? by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jul 13, 2006 at 13:13 UTC
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by mav3067 (Beadle) on Jul 12, 2006 at 15:08 UTC
Connor McLeod has had centuries of practice....There can be only one!	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Aug 04, 2006 at 10:20 UTC
The Spanish Peacock had at least 6 times more practice :)	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on Jul 12, 2006 at 22:07 UTC
Leonardo...hmmm...turtle soup	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by hydo (Monk) on Jul 16, 2006 at 19:24 UTC
I think the smart money is on Toshiro Mifune. He's certainly got the scowl down. Photographic Evidence: one two He's even deadly when he's wounded: three	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by arkturuz (Curate) on Jul 12, 2006 at 14:05 UTC
Richard Burton? He almost won the battle against Cyrano de Bergerac :-)	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by tbone1 (Monsignor) on Jul 17, 2006 at 13:35 UTC
No, Richard Burton is a pencil-necked geek. Unless you mean the Arabian Nights translator or the Welsh actor instead. -- tbone1, YAPS (Yet Another Perl Schlub) And remember, if he succeeds, so what. - Chick McGee	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by nimdokk (Vicar) on Jul 18, 2006 at 12:55 UTC
I think we were talking about the guy who translated the Arabian Nights (or more correctly the fictional version in Philip José Farmer's excellent Riverworld Series). :-)	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by tweetiepooh (Hermit) on Jul 17, 2006 at 10:12 UTC
In common with modern times, the only real winners are the swordsmiths. And the gravediggers and alligned trades.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by TedPride (Priest) on Jul 17, 2006 at 02:25 UTC
The original black-and-white Zorro was an amazing swordfighter.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by tweetiepooh (Hermit) on Jul 17, 2006 at 10:12 UTC
In common with modern times, the only real winners are the swordsmiths.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by zakame (Pilgrim) on Jul 16, 2006 at 08:41 UTC
Awwww, where's Himura Kenji?	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by alpha (Scribe) on Jul 20, 2006 at 21:56 UTC
Without a doubt, Conan will prevail :)	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by shmem (Chancellor) on Jul 18, 2006 at 13:12 UTC
Gandalf The White.	[reply]
Re^2: Who would win in a swordfight? by ant (Scribe) on Jul 20, 2006 at 15:29 UTC
Now we're getting there, what about Aragon or Legolas, although Legolas was a bowman, he also had excellent sword skills. Dissapointed not to see Blade on the list, may not be the best, but with those shades and haircut, he's probably the coolest. So I had to go with Conor, centuries of training along with his special power, there can be only one! (not again!)	[reply]
Re^3: Who would win in a swordfight? by shmem (Chancellor) on Jul 20, 2006 at 15:37 UTC
Gandalf The White slayed the Balrog. Neither Aragorn nor Legolas could withstand the Flame of Udur...	[reply]
Re^4: Who would win in a swordfight? by BUU (Prior) on Jul 20, 2006 at 17:25 UTC
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by petemar1 (Pilgrim) on Jul 22, 2006 at 23:16 UTC
Please note that every given poll option other than 宮本武蔵 is that of a fictional character.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Tosco (Novice) on Apr 27, 2007 at 12:52 UTC
Robin Hood was tops with a bow, not a sword.	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Anonymous Monk on May 18, 2007 at 00:10 UTC
I dont think imortals should be allowed but if so i would like to nominate dorian gray, the other fighters would have to find his portrait which is probably locked in his house somwhere	[reply]
Re: Who would win in a swordfight? by Knom (Beadle) on Jul 22, 2006 at 17:21 UTC
Ranma Saotome http://www.fencing.net/	[reply]


Perl Monk, Perl Meditation
	PerlMonks