Red Hat, and other vendors, ship a general-use product that is suitable for basic work in many areas. The httpd they ship is compiled in a way that makes it friendly to RPM installs of .so packages, not to high-performance or to any specific use. They can't ship a proxy configuration because it wouldn't be the right thing for people using CGI or Java servlets and they have to please everyone.
For a dedicated server, you will nearly always need to compile your own httpd. This is true of Perl too -- the one Red Hat ships has threads compiled, which slows it down significantly for people who don't use threads. A simple recompile of Perl with all defaults will give you a significant speed boost.
Regarding your feelings about the ASF, I can't reason with paranoia, but I can tell you that the ASF includes many cantankerous old-timers and has had large contributions in the past from various other companies without compromising the quality of the projects I pay attention to.