Good certifications are ones that get you jobs / pay hikes. Bad certifications are ones that do not.
The reason why so many here think they're all bad is because we, the guys who would be giving you a tech interview, wouldn't put any weight behind your certifications list. That doesn't mean it won't help you get by the HR guy, only that it won't help you get by *us*.
If you do find a techie who allows them as indicators of something, it's most likely because that techie also has the certification and is trying, desperately, to justify it to him/herself.