If the universe was more like Perl, I would...

[cavac]

use More::Beer;

 177/20%

require 'Payment';

 97/11%

eval($girlfriend_or_boyfriend);

 58/7%

goto "vacation";

 148/17%

chop $Someones->Head('Off');

 41/5%

split(/\ /, "me girlfriend");

 26/3%

join(' ', 'me', 'party');

 34/4%

new Car(size=>'big',speed=>'fast');

 48/6%

bless Flying_Spaghetti_Monster

 171/20%

other()

 72/8%

872 total votes

[dHarry]

no strict;
no warnings;

for $banker (@all_bankers) {
    chop($banker);    
}

[Bloodnok]

You sure it shouldn't be ...

package Banker;
no strict;
no warnings;

use base qw/Greedy SelfAggrandising MorallyBereft/;

1;

or even ...

while (my ($banker, $rubbish) = each %bankers) {
    delete $bankers{$banker};
}

[Anonymous Monk]

For clarity, can we rename your variable:

$banksters

to distinguish from the folks running our community credit unions and state owned banks which have provided what little institutional push-back to these corporate shenanigans?

[CountZero]

eval {die;}

[cdarke]

Or maybe:

eval{die};return

[xiaoyafeng]

lol, I like it!

[blue_cowdawg]

Definitely "other" but inspired by use More::Beer (sorta.) This code is actually some psuedo-code written in Perl syntax for the logic flow of how I wanted a brewery controller I was designing to work. (Wanted??? still thinking it through...)

#!/usr/bin/perl -w 
####################################################################

use Brewery;
use Brewing::Burner;
use Water;
use Water::Filter;
use Time::HiRes qw/ get_timeofday tv_interval /;

my $brewery => new Brewery("really.. my normal brewery...");
my $recipe =  $brewery-> lookup_recipe("Bosun's Madness Belgian Trippe
+l",
    { size => '10 gallons' } );
my $hot_liquor_tank = $brewery->setup_hot_liquor_tank(); 
my $mash_tun = $brewery->setup_mash_tun();
my $brewpot = $brewery->setup_brewpot();
my $rims_heater = $brewery->setup_rims_heater();

$hot_liquor_tank -> add_water ( (new Water::Filter(new Water())) -> 
                get_qty($recipe->dough_in_water_qty()));

my $hlt_heater = new Brewing::Burner();

$hlt_heater->on();

my $water_temp = $hot_liquor_tank -> get_temp();

while( $water_temp < $recipe->strike_temp() ) { 
    $water_temp = $hot_liquor_tank -> get_temp();
}

$hlt_heater->off();

$mash_tun -> add($recipe->grain_bill());

my $mash_temp = $recipe->mash_temp();

my $infusion_time = $recipe->infusion_time(); # as a tv
my $t1 = [ gettimeofday() ];

#
# mash grain until saccaranification is complete...
while ( tv_interval( $t1,$infusion_time) > 0 ) { 
    if ( $rims_heater->status() eq 'OFF' ) { 
    if ( $mash_tun -> get_temp() < $mash_temp ) { 
        $rims_heater->on();
    }
    } else { 
    if (  $mash_tun -> get_temp() >= $mash_temp  ) { 
        $rims_heater->off();
    }
    }
      
}

$rims_heater->on();

while($mash_tun->get_temp() < $recipe->mashout()){};

$rims_heater->off();

$mash_tun->begin_worlauf();
while( $mash_tun->check_grant()->runnings() ne 'CLEAR' ){
    $mash_tun->worlauf()->pump()->recirculate();
}

$brewpot->recieve($mash_tun->pump()->wort());

$brewery->boiler_heater->on();

while($brewpot->boiling() ne 'TRUE') { } # Wait until comes to a boil 

my $start_boil = [ gettimeofday()];
my $currtime=$start_boil;
my $stop_boil = $recipe->get_boil_time();

while ( my $time_left=tv_interval($currtime,$stop_boil)){
    # Hops are added at 90, 60, 45, 30 and 15 minute to boil
    # time intervals, typically.  (Not all 5 intervals though!) 
    if ( $recipe->hop_time($time_left) ) { 
    $brewpot->add_hops($recipe->scheduled_hops($time_left));
    }
    #
    # Adjuncts such as candi sugar, irish moss (and other finings) and
+ 
    # spices get added at certain times of the schedule
    if ( $recipe->adjunct_time($time_left) ) { 
    $brewpot->add_adjuncts($recipe->scheduled_adjuncts($time_left));
    }
    
}

$brewery->boiler_heater->off();

$brewery->fermenter->recieve(
    $brewery->wort_chiller(new Water(),$brewpot->wort_out)
    );

$brewery->fermenter->add_yeast($recipe->yeast());

[ChuckularOne]

Are you a home brewer or a pro-brewer?

BTW: I love the code!

[blue_cowdawg]

An insanely avid home brewer. I'd love to make it my profession if I had the guts to strike out on my own and open my own brewery. I'd have a blast producing Belgian style ales (think Ommegang) as well as IPAs, Porters and Stouts.

[jkva]

seek(PEACE)

[raybies]

Is PEACE really a bareword? That's so unPerly. :)

[DrWhy]

PEACE is a function, not a constant. It requires work to achieve.

[Anonymous Monk]

You don't for it to be "just a word" ;-)

[zentara]

get more shebangs :-)

[jonix]

Indeed! ;-)

[Utilitarian]

$human->{nature}->{aggression}--;
$human->{nature}->{territoriality}--;
$human->{nature}->{tolerance}++;
$human->{nature}->{reason}++;

[Anonymous Monk]

die; redo

[FloydATC]

$SIG{INT} = 'IGNORE';

[DrWhy]

use Ritalin;

[salva]

goto &vacation;

[ChuckularOne]

It would be best if the sub &vacation contained an endless loop and no return;

[pingo]

Sounds like you would enjoy Groundhog day, then. :-)

[DrWhy]

wife.pl:

eval <STDIN>;

------

me.pl:

open FSCK, "|perl wife.pl
print FSCK "unless(fork) { exec 'baby --sex=any --fingers=10 --toes=10
+' } else { system('make sammich')} "

[DrHyde]

study foreach(@everything)

[pingo]

sin?

[DrWhy]

I think that's the answer for the opposite poll: "If perl were more like the universe..."

[papidave]

upvote for honesty.

[cdarke]

while(1){chomp;listen;study;fork;sleep}

[DrWhy]

sleep 8*3600;

[papidave]

($gasoline || $petrol )->price -= 3.00;

[tchrist]

print "If the universe was more like Perl, I would...\n" =~ s/\b(??{use utf8;lc uc reverse ſAW})\b/55.46.48.46.48.46.57.94.112.101.114.108/regex;

[Kanishka.black0]

stop(time);

rewind(time->before_marriage);

[outkast]

if $me->can(ride)
  $mount =~ s/wife/ducati/
  $me->ride($mount,{chain=>undef,to=>sunset})
else
  $me->stuck(loc=>rut)

[anonymized user 468275]

$girl -> { pretty } and $girl -> { clothing } &&= undef();

[ciderpunx]

eval reverse
    qw|Smoke crack pipe|;

[tangent]

use Thoughts2Text
my $Parser = Thoughts2Text->new($Larry_et_al)
$Parser->print_as_text('/path/to/perl6')
...
cd /path/to/perl6
make
install
run

[Anonymous Monk]

use stricter warnings

[lancer]

$my_money = 10000000000000000000000;

[Anonymous Monk]

use Safe;
use Sex;
use Bone::Easy;