Re^6: 20 most important Perl Best Practices
by pemungkah (Priest) on Aug 26, 2012 at 21:03 UTC
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Looking at that strip and trying to imagine I was a female programmer, I feel uncomfortable. Cf. Schwern's keynote.
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Agreed.
What bothers me the most is that in situations where someone is in the minority, they are already in a disadvantaged position to express a similar opinion. Most people don't like rocking the boat, they don't want to go against their peers, and they're slow to vocalize when they're uncomfortable, unhappy, or offended at something. Unless they get really angry, they're not likely to say anything.
We've already had a woman note that she was bothered by the comic. If that's the case, I expect that there are many more who felt the same and didn't speak up.
Respect. Common courtesy. Appropriate behavior. These aren't complicated concepts. We need to remember that what is acceptable in some situations may not be in others. Sexualized programming jokes are a good example of something not acceptable in this environment, IMO.
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Looking at that strip and trying to imagine I was a female programmer, I feel uncomfortable. Quick, disconnect before it gets worse!
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Actually, imagining being female doesn't make me uncomfortable at all. As a software developer, it's part of my job to think imaginatively about what someone else might want or not want. How can you manage to develop usable and enjoyable software for someone else if you can't imagine what they'd want - or if you dismiss their desires and preferences? Is it impossible for a male developer to try to imagine the effect of wording or graphics and think, "Hmm, if I were a woman, that might make me feel uncomfortable or talked-down-to; I'd better change that"? I don't think it is.
Have you ever caught yourself saying "nobody would want that" or "nobody would do that"? Quoting Michael Bolton's Rapid Software Testing class, "nobody would do that" means "nobody that I know, and that I like, would do that".
Posting jokes equivalencing software features to large breasts and saying "nobody would really find that offensive" means you're thinking about the entire audience of people as consisting of a group in which someone who would be hurt, upset, or angry doesn't even exist.
I'm no angel. I screw up with this stuff too. But when I see there's a screwup, I try to kindly say, "I think you should seriously consider that what you said is be a screwup." If it was me, then I should say "I screwed up, I have no excuse, and I'm sorry."
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I still remember the time I had a presentation with some content that I thought was funny, but just to make sure, I asked several female friends, all of whom thought it was OK. I still received some rather negative feedback from women I had never heard of. Surprise! It turns out that the people I know are, well, people that I know and we're more likely to understand where one is coming from.
What I, and all of my female friends, missed, was the issue of context. Just because there's a joke I can tell in front of my friends doesn't mean that it's appropriate for for a large, anonymous audience. They don't know who I am, they don't know what I think, and it's quite reasonable that someone may be offended by a "let's judge Demi Moore by the size of her breasts" cartoon.
I honestly don't understand why more people don't get this idea: public and private behavior are not the same and should not be the same. I have a friend in the UK who greets me by saying "hiya c*nt". There's a private joke behind that, but he would never dream of greeting me like that in front of a bunch of people he doesn't know because it's not appropriate.
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let me tell you something. in my experience, if women start a discussion about something they feel uncomfortable or are offended, they are called feminist fanatists or something like that. yes, that happens. women get harrassed by phone and email after such discussions. yes, that happens (fortunately not to me yet, but to a friend).
it is not easy for the minority of women to speak up here, also because of such reasons. believe it or not. people are harrassed because they are women, gay, handicapped or whatever.
now a guy speaks up, and he doesn't even take the right to speak for all women, he just says what he thinks he would feel. and suddenly all hell breaks loose. WTF?
Now I add a comment that I in fact feel uncomfortable. and what happens? nothing. you don't care. and for Jenda I'm the one closed minded women.
So women can't speak up easily, because they are afraid of being called fanatists. and men can't speak up for women either. great!
I now do speak up. I just don't want to see or hear such pubertal jokes here, and it's now up to you to call me fanatist, closed minded or whatever.
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Straw man much? Did he mention the term “boob job” at all?
It’s the strip’s implied “aw yeah Demi Moore, I get a boner when I think of her” (and more along those lines) that’s creepy – and I say this without even putting myself in the shoes of a woman reading the strip: even just as a man – dude, I don’t wanna know and I don’t want to be made a party to your fantasies without my consent. Keep it in your pants.
To a woman I can only imagine it would feel 10× worse.
None of that has anything to do with prudish objections to such as naughty language like tits or fucking.
Makeshifts last the longest.
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Re^6: 20 most important Perl Best Practices
by jffry (Hermit) on Aug 31, 2012 at 18:32 UTC
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I'm offended that the worst cartoon I've ever read in my life is getting this much attention.
If that poor author ever analyzes his access logs he might think he has hit pay dirt with that cartoon, and then he'll make more like that. Please Gawd no!
I think it is UKB's civic duty to inform the author all those hits to that one cartoon are anomalous results of his sensitivity training here at PerlMonks.
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Re^6: 20 most important Perl Best Practices
by greengaroo (Hermit) on Aug 24, 2012 at 03:32 UTC
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