chdir "/usr/local/bar" or die "You must go home: $!\n"; while ($time_to_go > time()) { seek $friends, $laughter, $relaxation; if ((rand($order)) == $shots) { $alcohol =~ s/beer/whiskey/; } grep $alcohol, @bartender; $again = pop @_top; chomp $peanuts; if (my (@wife) = caller) { $excuse = tell I_AM_NOT_HERE; } } close BAR; return $home;