Thank you all for your kind comments.
ambrus especially for his sharp de-obfuscation,
chargill especially for his mention of -MO=Deparse (a test I'll make sure any of my future obfus pass), and
liverpole especially for welcoming me to the club ;). Actually, it was some of
liverpole's impressive obfus that made me think I should post one, though I still don't think I'm particularly gifted at it.
Next time, I'll try harder :)